Judgement day

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Gender Male
Points 189
Reviews 333
The sky, it beats.
Pulsates with runs of red.
The blood of thousands in which
it has taken.

You can smell the fear,
the pain, the blood.
You can sit it as well,
littered across the road
like modern art.

Rain falls like bombs,
colliding with the ground
in a war like fashion.
I sit and watch,
and I am afraid.
Afraid of dying;
afraid of living.

Burning souls drag themselves
along streets they used to know,
but know, the signs are smeared
with crimson memories.

So this is Judgement day,
the end of everything we knew.
We step into this new millenium as
lambs do to the slaughter!
We're all scared,
but there is nothing we can do,
other than, die.
'I have loved to the point of madness, which for me is the only true way to love'
~Francoise Sagan




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Gender Female
Points 8363
Reviews 182
Great poem. I like the subject, and the end of the world seems to be something that has become a popular topic of discussions. I think your poem is more like a rated PG version of what the real Judgment Day will be like, and thank you, for I am not really in the mood for guts and gore. It flows very nicely, and no punctuation errors that I can spot. It also has good imagery and great diction, and I can feel the hopelessness, sorrow, and fear.
Nice
"If you ever have a problem don't say 'Hey God I have a big problem.' Rather 'Hey Problem... I have a big God and it's all going to be okay."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6321
Reviews 37
Hey retrodisco66,overall I really liked your poem but there are a few things that I would change such as: the line that says "you can sit it as well" I think this must be a typo because it didn't make much since to me. Did you mean to write you can sit in it as well? Also the ending was very morbid, when something is as sad as this piece is I think even if there isn't a happy ending it should still be a little lighter so the poem won't give off a feeling of hopelessness and depression. Well I hope this helps,keep up the great work!
Giving in is easy,fighting for what you believe in is the hard part.



Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr