Bullies

Well, I wrote this because I hate bullies and I just needed to get this of my chest. I do get bullied, after a fashion, because I'm different. I'm not the normally girly girl, I'm probibly the most ungirly person you will ever know and at school some of the boys think this is a good reason to take the mick all the time.
Any comments welcome.

Bullies

They make your life hell,
Which they think is swell.

They think its ok,
To trest you like prey.

They act oh so cool,
Make you look a fool.

They call you a name,
They think its a game.

Bullies
The worst kind of coward.

Its a bit rough but thats how I feel. Feedback welcome.

hey
I know what your feeling about being bullied,this poem is really good
if you bulling is real bad then you should tell someone

midnightread wrote:Bullies

They make your life hell,
Which they think is swell. Very, very true.

They think it's okay,
To treat you like prey.

They act oh so cool,
Make you look a fool. I think for this stanza, just to give it a cool little scheme, you could true doing like "They act oh so cool/ They make you look oh so a fool" I think that would read well there, but it's just an idea. This is still your poem.

They call you a name,
They think it's a game. Again, so, so true.

Bullies: I'm adding the colon just because I think it makes this stanza look a little better and read a little better. Other than that, I like this sort of raw emotion you have behind this. It makes me feel sad for you and at the same time angry at these bullies.
The worst kind of coward.

My heart goes out to you, Midnight! I'm plagued with the disease of bullies as well and I hate them very, very much, though at least in my case I'm a guy that could just fight them in the end, plus get my friends that are bigger and stronger than all them to help. But, that doesn't solve problems, it creates more. Still, my heart is a little more broken from reading this and I really hope you can find help sometimes soon. I agree with Lonelymind on telling someone. I was having troubles like this and I just went to the principal and he took care of things. But, it's hard, I understand. Good luck, and keep writing!

This is all so very true. Every word of it. Wonderful poem by the way. I think we all get bullied some time or another, but I think if yours is really bad, you should tell someone about it. I know how you feel too. I'm also treated bad because I'm different. Awesome way to put it to words.

Bullies are terrible - even the bullies that don't attack you from the outside. All the same, this poem was lacking something. The rhyme scheme was restricting and sing-songy, and the lines were short and didn't get much more than the plainly-stated across. I just would've liked if you'd dug a litlte deeper into how you felt, because honestly, this just seemed too simple. Please remember, I'm trying to critique and not insult, and also that I know how you feel. I hate bullies, and someone needs to speak out about it. It's just finding the way to put it into words.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

This is a wonderful poem!! I have no nit-picks and don't see anything wrong with it!! Good job!

Keep writing,
Alzora

Nice poem. I know how you feel. Keep writing!

This is both very well written and very true. You're writing style is really good. Keep up the good work!