I Am the Girl of the Moon

Spoiler

Another quick write, rip it apart.

I Am the Girl of the Moon
I lie back on my crescent hammock
As it drifts on through the sky,
Swung ‘round the earth by a motherly hand;
The air whispers the lullaby.

Well the man of the moon (this is my brother)
Will be back from the rings soon (or so says Moon Mother)
Saying, “Diana dear, isn’t it clear? Our home will be waning soon.”
Then must I wander? To Mars’ desert or Jupiter’s dune?

Bow and arrow at hand, I promise Moon Mother,
“I’ll be back to you soon, not long at all,”
And I can only hope she understands;
So I leave, through the fields of stars that spin and stall.

And so I wander to a place (quite far from home),
As constellations map my way through space (and the Beyond, where none shall roam)
Until Moon Brother and I are together,
Speaking of little, not minding the weather.

And to Moon Mother I return to my hammock
Dizzy and dreary but none the less pleased,
As the world spins around me and I spin as well,
My journey one that’s left me breezed,

But with my arrow and my bow,
Know doubt the stories will show
That I am the girl of the Moon,
The young huntress of the dying stars,
The explorer of Venus, Uranus and Mars,
Of travels I’ll tell my sweet Mother Moon
And leave when I must but be back again soon.
See, Moon Brother and I? We both understand,
For we are the guardians of this celestial land.

Hi!! I just love the idea behind this!!!


I Am the Girl of the Moon
I lie back on my crescent hammock
As it drifts on through the sky,
Swung ‘round the earth by a motherly hand;
The air whispers the lullaby. I love the imagery here. I can picture it perfectly

Well the man of the moon (this is my brother) The parenthesis throw me off a little here. They're a bit out of place.
Will be back from the rings soon (or so says Moon Mother)
Saying, “Diana dear, isn’t it clear? Our home will be waning soon.” Who is talking here?
Then must I wander? To Mars’ desert or Jupiter’s dune? I think you should have a period or a comma after 'Then must I wander? Because it doesn't really seem like a question, it seems like she already knows what she has to do[color=#FF0000]

Bow and arrow at hand, I promise Moon Mother,
“I’ll be back to you soon, not long at all,”
And I can only hope she understands;
So I leave, through the fields of stars that spin and stall.

And so I wander to a place (quite far from home),
As constellations map my way through space (and the Beyond, where none shall roam)
Until Moon Brother and I are together,
Speaking of little, not minding the weather. [color=#FF0000]What weather? It doesn't mention weather anywhere else, so it seems a bit like your desperate to make it rhyme.

And to Moon Mother I return to my hammock Is this supposed to be be two sentences? If not, i think you should put a comma after 'Moon Mother', to make it more dramatic
Dizzy and dreary but none the less pleased,
As the world spins around me and I spin as well,
My journey one that’s left me breezed, I think you should end this with a period

But with my arrow and my bow,
Know doubt the stories will show
That I am the girl of the Moon,
The young huntress of the dying stars,
The explorer of Venus, Uranus and Mars, I love this part. I can imagine it perfectly
Of travels I’ll tell my sweet Mother Moon
And leave when I must but be back again soon.
See, Moon Brother and I? We both understand,
For we are the guardians of this celestial land.

Sparkles,
Sierra

I loved it. Thought it was great. YOu were very descriptive and I was able to imagine everything. YOu seem to be good at rhyming which I'm not very good at. Keep it up!