This is a story that I've started writing, and I was just hoping for some feedback on it, to see how it was going and if it grasped people's attention. Please give me feedback because it really does help!
“Yes, for the hundredth time, that dress is great. Amazing in fact. It doesn’t make you look fat, and it does make your boobs look good, OK?” I loved my best friend most of the time, but as soon as she hit the shops Gillian became a nightmare. We had been in twenty-two shops today, and tried on sixty-three different dresses. The end of term dance was in two days and Gillian still hadn’t found the ‘perfect dress’.
“I don’t know, it doesn’t feel quite right, you know?” she was analysing herself in the mirror critically.
“It doesn’t feel right? Come on! What did you expect to happen? All the lights to dim and for some fireworks to go off?” I was getting just a bit exasperated now.
“No, if you’re so annoyed, why did you come with you?” I sighed inwardly.
“Because you know I can’t say no to you, Gillian!” we were best friends after all.
“Yes, well I am irresistible darling!” She fluttered her eyelashes at me and we were back to normal again. We could never argue for long.
“Hmm, I think I’m going to go back and try on that dress in the second shop, you know the purple one with the little black bow?” I sighed to myself again; this was going to be a long day...
Three and a half hours and fifteen dresses later we were sitting in our favourite cafe, The Chipped Cup, sipping at our identical glasses of iced peach tea and eyeing all the hot guys walking past. Every time a guy walked past we gave each other a look, varying with how hot a guy was. We agreed every time. Sometimes we joked that we were twins that had just gotten separated at birth, despite how different we looked. She was tall with reddish-gold curly hair, sparkling green eyes and legs that were to die for, whereas I was tiny with short dyed-black hair and black-rimmed hazel eyes. She always joked about saying I was her ‘wee emo pet’ which I retaliated with ‘my over-grown leprechaun’. We teased each other constantly but it was always in a joking way, and neither of us took it personally.
