You left her

You left her standing
Standing there by herself
You left her standing
When you were the only one who could help
You left her standing
Picking up the peices
With empty excuses
And broken reasons
You left her standing
Tears dripping from her eyes
You left her standing
All alone with a hopless cry
You left her standing
All alone that day
But maybe, next time
She'll be the one to walk away

I love those really rare poems, where you can just picture one thing really strongly...
And I totally did right here!
So, you've got some good imagery skills.
Keep writing, it's awesome xxx

I love how you repeat that one line "You left her standing" because it really emphasizes the point of your poem. Love it!

Thank you (:. I just wrote this sitting in class, and thank you people have told me that before (:. Your nice

I really liked this poem!! I liked the rhyming scheme, it wasn't overwhelming, it was subtle. Something to say: I feel really bad for the girl, I could feel her hurt as it happened. Nice work!! It's strange, the writing people can accomplish just sitting in class, and strangly enough its always our best work!
Keep writing
-Rayne

I didnt like it. To be honest. I am not trying to be rude or anything.

The common thread in your poem was this line;

You left her standing

Yes, its all fine and dandy to have a common thread in a poem, such as this one with you left her standing, but when that common thread doesnt have as much as an impact you want it to have then it just doesnt appear to be as memorable as you intended it to be.

I feel in your case, you line made everything seem so redundant, so predictable that it made it loose its feeling of impact and power that it should have. His leaving her is the thing that this poem is about, and this seems like it could be a very sad topic. But you didnt have the passion there, the dramatic irony I like to see in poems. I rarely review poems because I dont usually have much to say about them, but your title peaked my interest. You see, the whole line of 'you left her' is sad and anyone can tell you that they understand the pain she must have been going through. What takes away that common knowledge is that you added the 'standing'. Standing to me is much impacting because it the deeper meaning behind it is to have strength and ambition. To stand up for yourself. But in such a case of having a loved one leave you, you are not strong, and surely you would not be able to stand up for yourself. For me, the standing just contradicts the meaning of the poem.

What I suggest you do is change up the 'standing' part and make it vary through the poem. It would reduce the redundancy and it would still maintain the common thread and give it a unified appearance. Like write a line like; 'You left her searching, for the pieces of her broken heart' or some thing like that. I fail at writing poetry. I give you props for being able too. Just adjust your poem to have those variancies and to suggest the weakness that she felt. You could even have each action at the end seem to make her gain more stength until you get to that final line to make it seem like she will be able to walk away. That would make it a little more impacting.

I am also a fan of imagery in poetry. Your poem is very one sided. You dont have any real metaphors. You have a couple in there but they are the cliche ones that are used everywhere. Describe things, maybe compare things to others to make something new. Just be creative and let your poem create a picture in the readers mind.

I will leave someone else to review on the other things about poetry because I dont know everything, and I don't want to mislead you if I say something wrong. Those things above are the certain things that I see with your work. You dont have to listen to my suggestions for they are of my own opinion.

You have excellent potential and would love to see more of your work. PM me if you have any questions.
~Incognito

EDIT: @Butterfingers response to my review: Ah, but you said it yourself, everyone has their own opinions. Nobody has to actually listen to mine as I stated in my review. To me, I find repitition wearing. It is a decent poem, I just think it could be done better. Thanks for your response though. I am glad to see your take on the matter. (:

Ok, here's my take on what Incognito had to say-not that I'm bashing you, but not all poetry has a strict form, rules that MUST be followed. It also doesn't NEED to have imagery or any other tools to 'spice it up'. Someone once asked Robert Frost what one of his poems meant, but his reply was that everyone has a different outlook and takes in a different message and view. I totally agree and I'm not bashing, but I think Rememberme's poem is perfect the way it is and it should be changed just because some of us disagree. No hard feelings, but I had to say something. Oh, and there's nothing wrong with repetition either. Ok, done spewing! Keep writing and you'll do great!