Hola! So before you begin to read please know that this is not the entire chapter by any means! When I write I tend to write alooooooot! So I'll make my posts small so that people will actually be able to review my writing! xD So if the end of it seems abrupt or anything... That's not the true end!
The night air has a way to seep into the darkest parts of you and help bring them out in ways unimaginable to the human mind. The way the moon glistens, revealing shadows that tremble and shiver on alleyway walls. As people jump from the rooftops murdering without a care.
Those who live on the street live by one rule. Survival. We believe that the way of life includes that the strong will always conquer the weak. So hide away your secrets and your despairs, your woes and your flaws. For if someone fails to do so, they might just end up having their neck meet the cool blade of my knife.
Once the sun has set all other rules no longer apply. This is the time when the city is run by the thieves and the cut purses, and all other uninviting creatures. However by the time morning hits another group of people rule, shutting out the fear in peoples hearts that has been placed there by the darkness. For it has always been an ongoing battle for eternities over the light and the dark. I have always been told that there is no in between and that any thought of one is blasphemy.
Such thoughts were in fact what I was dreaming about when I was awoken on the morning of my nineteenth birthday. I mumbled as I opened my eyes to see Cade standing over me.
His muscular tanned arms from the sun were crossed, where his dirty uncombed and uncut hair fell onto his face. I could tell that he had been out working all night from the way his eyes were glaring at me, and evidently full of stress. I sat up and tossed my black hair, which was now damp from grease and sweat over my shoulder and said.
“Hey there.” He smirked and sat down next to me and before I knew it his lips were on mine and the taste of him was overwhelming my senses. He seemed to scare away all my strange thoughts of being in the middle of darkness and light. His kisses helped to sway me to stay who I had always remembered being, Saskia Night. Long before I was Saskia Night was all a blur. Whenever I asked around no one was forthcoming on information about my past. So at eight years old I had been forced into forging my own identity.
Suddenly he pulled away and stood up murmuring about how I smelt bad. I gave him dagger eyes and shoved him as I rolled out of my cot. I began for the exit and Cade laughed.
“Where were you last night anyway?” I asked coolly. Cade stopped laughing and shrugged as he calmly replied with,
“My current employer has me on a lengthy job.” I stared down at the scar on my hand as I sharply retorted.
“What happened to helping me with my job last night?” I could see his eyes flicker nervously for a moment before he regained his composition and began to come up with an excuse I didn’t feel like hearing. I slammed the door shut as I left the room and heard him call out,
“Happy birthday gorgeous!” I considered turning around and throwing a knife at his head but knew I’d regret it. I sighed as I looked at my fingernails which were short and choppy. They also happened to be turning a light shade of yellow, unlike my teeth. I slumped my back against the door as I began fumbling around in my boot for my dagger. I felt the handle and effortlessly pulled it out.
For a moment I gazed at the jewels encrusted into the handle and couldn’t help but smile at the worth of my dagger. If it were to become known to any other thief in the camp that I had a valuable dagger in my possession I would be interrogated, and likely murdered. The beautiful jewels on the hilt were visibly very old and glimmered in the sunlight. They were the only thing that I took my time to clean and shine.
I gripped my dagger tightly as I began to make my way out of the thief camp, ignoring everyone as I went by. The camp was full of some of the most dreadful thieves, and the laziest. The place reeked of filth and residue. To anyone but a street rat the mere stench would be enough to provoke tears. I tiptoed over sleeping bodies as I gradually left the deceitful bunch.
My high boots splashed through puddles as I headed out to find Madame Quincy, my latest employer. She was one of the Queens ladies in waiting and therefore needed someone who had a knack at my trade.
I did my best to blend into the walls of homes and the pavement, as I exited the city’s slums.
There are a few other issues, but I think Lethero caught most of them. The only other bit of advice I can give you is this; COMMAS! Your sentences tend to be rather short, but in the lengthy ones, you must remember COMMAS! I'd advise you to read your work out loud, and see where you tend to pause. Those would be the best comma locations 
