Posession

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 22
In the morning it eludes me;

The clawing at the walls
that line inside my head,
The screeching in my ears
that tell me I'm not dead.

In the day it seeks me;

The trembling of its fingers
that yearn to feel my skin,
The fiery yelp of madness
that is slowly running thin.

In the night it finds me;

The howling beast inside
that cages only hate,
The succubi daunting me
that pushes down its weight.

In my nightmares it ends me;

The darkness enraptures
that all which is left,
The destined Nothing,
that is born from the bereft.
'Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia' - E.L. Doctorow.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1524
Reviews 7
Hi mystiquevander! I am fairly new to this whole this so excuse me if this review sucks... XD
Anyways, it is good, really good. I loved the way that it was set up and the dark vibe it gave off. The way that you have it seeming to go through the day and then night, descibing what it does to you, is a really neat setup. Also the imagery is incredible, not only could I envision those claws on the inside of my skull, I could nearly feel them.
One thing that puzzles me though is th whole meaning behind it, I interpreted insanity but then the title is possesion. I am assuming that it would more than likely be a personal poem that might not make sense to everyone so I will just let it be.It kind of confused me but I still really enjoyed it!
~SafeHouse
Why?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 37146
Reviews 556
Hello there :)

This is a potentially great poem. I think the major problem I have with it is how loose it is. Though the rhythm and structure is catchy, the arrangement of the words is not gripping. It's as if they are written for the sake of it, I don't feel anything. But that's my opinion. However, like I said before, the structure is very creative.
Keep writing
The best is what you make it!

...eh, need a review? Click me!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2001
Reviews 45
Love, love, love the total darkness oncoming feeling. It's one of those poems where the chills slowly work their way up your back. Really great. I like the flow of it. Awesome job!!!
Life can be amazing if your slightly strange



In any free society, the conflict between social conformity and individual liberty is permanent, unresolvable, and necessary.
— Kathleen Norris