Crushing On You Part 1

"Shawn, this is Craig. Craig, Shawn. you know him don't you?" Matt introduced us that day. I was in that party he threw for the basketball team after winning the finals.

I don't know. I mean I've seen him for quite sometime before and I've never seemed to notice him, or maybe I just did not care at all. I mean I am loaded with some shit myself-what with studies and all; I need to keep up with my grades. Our family, especially my mom and dad are achievers and their sons' worth are judged by their achievements as well. Well, my brothers' precedence really had me run for my money. Jude, the eldest was a junior partner then in one of the architectural firms in Makati and Ryan was a resident cardio-thoracic surgeon in St. Lukes, one of the biggest hospital in the Philippines and the most sophisticated there was. Ricky and I were still in highschool, he was a senior and I was a sophomore. He was one of the most popular guys in school and was slated to go to UP for college. I think i was fairly popular like two out of ten might knew me, which I think is the perk of being part of the school paper.

I was looking at him and thinking of anything to say. I mean, he's supposed to be a cool guy since he's the basketball captain and, well yeah he's cute. And Matt was my friend way back in elementary and just did me a favor because I had to interview Craig for the campus paper. I was the sports columnist. Although I am not really a sport guy, I mean I play some badminton here and there and was into soccer in the middle school but I had this really bad injury that freaked my mom out so I had to stop altogether. I never really liked sweat anyway, but I loved to cover the action. You see, I am very good at words, written words actually.

"Yeah, I do. He's the sports guy, I believe," he turned on me and extended his hand for a shake. "Hey man, how's it goin'? Been reading some of your stuff in the papers. You write like a pro."

That explicit complement really made me blush. Matt, who was still there, laughed at me.

"Ok buddies, I'mma leave you two here so you can do your stuff. I'll just go over there," and then he took off.

"Hi Craig, it's very nice of you to agree with this interview in such a short notice. The editor wanted you on front page." I said

"Sure man, whatever," he was smiling and I can't help but grin myself too.

"Great man. Shall we start?"

"I saw a kubo beside the pool, I think it's cool to have this thing there." he pointed out a small nipa hut cottage near the pool and we went there. After setting down my things, recorder, paper and pen, I
fired right away.

"So Craig, how do you find the game today?"

"Yeah, it was kinda hard. I mean you must have seen the Stags. All those three-pointers their forward was shooting, those were nightmares," he said while shaking his head. "I mean you knew that we barely won. The two-point margin was gained on that last minute. Not until the final buzzer was rang, everybody's pretty tensed. I was shaking mad myself on that last fifteen second. I swear to God I did not know how I managed to pull that lay-up thing. It was a tough one,
really tough,"

"Yeah, I have seen the Stags play before and I could say that they were pretty perked up in today's game."

"Well, it was the finals, everybody would prepare hard for it," he drank his beer and shook his head, maybe going through the last few seconds of the game on his mind. I scribbled some notes on my pad and continued.

"You are on your final year. What are your plans? Any scholarship offers?"

"Yeah, a guy from this University approached me after the game and asked for an appointment. I still really don't know. I guess I still have time to figure it out."

"Right. And do you plan to continue playing?"

"Basketball is my thing. I think I might still be."

I scribbled once again when Craig's phone suddenly rang.

"It's my Dad. I should probably take it."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Thanks. Excuse me."

I replayed what had been taped and smiled. Plenty of stuff to write already and it was just about fifteen minutes only. Craig was really a cool guy.

"Man, I'm sorry but I have to go. Something important came up,"

"Oh," was all I was able to say.

"Really, man. Here," he handed me a piece of paper with digits on it.
Could this be-- "Just give me a ring, ok? I really need to go."

I nodded and he went away.

Cool! So not only I was able to talk to one of the hottest guys in school I was also clutching in my slightly sweating palm his number, cellphone number at that. How lucky can one get?

Not that I believe there could be a possibility for the two of us, who am I kidding? He's just one of those numerous crushes I have. And I was determined to enjoy every bit of the encounter.

I packed my things and headed outside after thanking and bading goodbye to Matt.

While I was on my scooter going for home, so many thoughts came tumbling down my mind: my achievement-hungry family, my knack on becoming obscure at school without really trying, and me being gay without anyone knowing it at all. It was pretty hard. But I guess, I'll be able to pull it all through somehow until its time for me to go to college and live my own life.

Finally, as I lay down on my bed that night (or early morning; it was already two fifteen at my alarm clock) I picture Craig on his jersey smiling at me. Nice! Then I fell asleep.
***********

It was the phone which woke me up a few hours after.

I looked at the clock which now read four twenty seven. Who the hell is calling at this ungodly hour?

I decided to get back to sleep but the caller decided I should not. Reluctantly, I picked it up and said hello in the sleepiest tone possible.

"Hey, did I wake you up?"

I sat bolt upright upon hearing the voice.

"Who is this?" I asked although I already knew who it was.

"It's me Craig," and after a while that I was not able to respond (mostly because of shock that he would call me) he added, "I hope I didn't drag you out of sleep."

I put the phone away as I tried to clear my throat. If it was my friend, Lucas I would have said "Go to hell" and slam the phone down so hard it would knock a serious ton of wax off his ears, but it wasn't. It's frickin' Craig De Veyra, so I said, "No it's cool. S'up?"

"Nothing really. I just can't sleep. Maybe I thought you want to continue with the interview thing."

A normal person would have responded like :"Oh, is that so? Well guess what, S-l-e-e-p-y" and hang up or "Yeah sure, but I still have a meeting with Lala the dancing Panda and Tookis the talking lizard, so I guess we have to postpone it 'til my sanity catches on. Good night!" But I wasn't normal so I said instead "Yeah sure I would love to. Just give me a sec," and I gathered my things--notebook and pen.

"Cool."

And for two hours we talked about him, about school, his basketball career and all the crap that I thought I needed for the article. The interview was almost done when it became interesting.

"May I ask you something?" he said while I was wrapping up my interview.

"I guess yeah," I entoned as nonchalantly as possible.

"It's just this thing," I heard him sigh before he continued, "I think I might be liking somebody else."

My journalistic instinct told me that this was a scoop and as it would turn out it was.

"But you have girlfriend," I said, too careful not to sound accusing.

"Yeah but its just sort of I like this person way back but I was not able to get to know this person more. I was just wondering if had there been a chance..." his voice trailed of.

Okay, so this is definitely a scoop.

"I guess I shan't probably told you that," and I heard him laugh.

"No, it's ok. Go on," I said.

"I am probably boring you dude," laugh, "I guess if you have no more
question..."

"Uhm yeah, I guess that's probably all for me. But you know if you
want to talk about it--"

"No, it's no biggie actually. So goodnight then,"

Did I sound too eager?

"Yeah, goodnight."

"Okay." He hung up.

Now that I was wide awake, I could not help but think who the hell was he talking about. Probably another senior, or perhaps someone from another year or some random girl from a different school entirely. Oh well.

I turned off the bedside lamp and went to sleep. Again.
*************

"You look like shit."

I was on Lucas's the following day, finishing some stuff for our biology presentation.

"What are you talking about?" I said while dipping some leaves on the solution we have prepared.

"Have you taken a look at yourself before coming over? You're a mess," he glanced at me and went back to the experiment paper he was doing on his laptop.

I stood and went to the mirror. Ok, I thought, I did look like a mess.

"Yeah, it was just this one thing," I shrugged nonchalantly.

"So how's the article going?"

"Fine. I am almost done."

"Dude, have you decided who you're taking for the bash?"

Crap! I totally forgot about the sophomore's bash or "the bash". The bash is this thing for sophomores as junior-senior prom is to, well, juniors and seniors. It was a big thing for us back then. Every sophomore was allowed to invite anyone for that evening of cool music, dancing and they swear, good food and some para-alcoholic drinks (punch i guessed) plus the chance of making out. Or being a wallflower, alternatively.

"Yeah, that," I retorted without taking my eyes off the leaves that I now were somehow pasting in the illustration board, "haven't."

"Seriously?"

I just shrugged.

Lucas sighed dramatically like I had pleaded guilty on some capital sin. Ok here we go.

"What's frickin' wrong with you man? The bash is the thing!" he left the laptop and went to kneel in front of me. "We, you and I, are going to the bash with a bang! Know what I'm saying? A bang, dude, a bang! Not with that silly shrug of yours."

Lucas and that big speech of his. I just smiled when I turned to look at him.

"Why are you smiling faggot?"

"Excuse me?"

"What?" he went back to the laptop.

"What did you call me?"

"Faggot" and he laughed. "Why, I called you that so many times. Does
it bother you now?"

I sighed, relieved. On that fleeting moment, I thought I had it.

"So what's your plan for the bash?" I asked.

"You're the one who has a popular senior bro. Maybe you could ask him
to hook us up with the hottest senior girls."

"Yeah, right. As if Ricky and I are buddies."

My brother was one big pain in the ass. A show-off and so full of himself, he believed that the world revolved around him.

"Alright, this is what we're gonna do. Let's go ask the chick ourselves, eh? I'll call Ramona, you go with Susie, wha'dya say?"

"I dunno," I lifted the board to let it dry at Lucas's bed then looked at him.

"I already have this someone in mind," I smiled.

Lucas, looking half-confused half-amused said "you really are a faggot, man."

******

Would you like to go to the sophomore's bash with me?

I did not know what's gone into me earlier. After leaving Lucas's I went straight to my room. I pulled out my phone and texted Craig. I swear it was just a spur-of-the-moment. And I did not expect him to
reply. But it became crazier when he did.

Yeah, sure. Who's this anyway?

Shit!

I was pacing the room. Okay, I thought. I'm just gonna ignore it. Yeah. That's it.

But no sooner than I said that, the phone rang. It was him.

Holy crap! My perfectly good and wholesome vocabulary was now tarnished with bunch of expletives I am uttering since I met this guy.

I did not pick up. But when I thought my ordeal was over, the phone beeped.

Ok, I know you. Meet me @ d park. 3pm Or i'll tell your bro.

Fuck! I am soooo screwed.

It was already two o'clock. What shall I do?

I paced the room as if I was paving a mountain. Oh what the hell.

I grabbed my sweater and went out.

To start, this was quite an interesting read and out of my norm. Now onto some editing.

First off, I was quite confused with the location. I think you should try warming your readers into what exactly is going on. Where this is located instead of just starting with a ghost voice (picturing a voice in black with no body or scene... this is what I get for watching Inception last night)

"I saw a kubo beside the pool, I think it's cool to have this thing there." he pointed out a small nipa hut cottage near the pool and we went there. After setting down my things, recorder, paper and pen, I .." This ties in with the location part. The sports theme lends itself to a gym, maybe even a campus.. but this does not lend itself to that. Quite confusing.

There was also a very swift change in how your character acted. In the beggining he seemed quite busy and almost 'above' this basketball player. Now all of the sudden he is all about it, in a way, like a teenager with a crush, with very little depth that he is described to have.
The example: "Cool! So not only I was able to talk to one of the hottest guys in school I was also clutching in my slightly sweating palm his number, cellphone number at that. How lucky can one get? "

Now what we all have suspected comes into play, that the character is gay. I think that since it is not an obvious hit us in the face this is a romance novel for gay men that there should be more time spent on this. You have kind of sprung this part of your character on us, where as we should know him. We should know his is gay, why he chose to hide it from his family, etc. Detail would be appreciated and would make the reader feel less lost. "...and me being gay without anyone knowing it at all. It was pretty hard. But I guess, I'll be able to pull it all through somehow until its time for me to go to college and live my own life. "


Also, as a Romance junkie that can lead towards the obscene, having some body think about the object of their affection in the middle of the night usually dictates more description. The "Nice!" Was kind of... macho for my taste. In the middle of the night in bed when someone is exhausted is usually when they are their most honest with themselves. This would be a good time to explain your character more and the attraction and maybe hinting at the attraction between the two, maybe even overthinking - which is pretty typical of most people in a crush. "Finally, as I lay down on my bed that night (or early morning; it was already two fifteen at my alarm clock) I picture Craig on his jersey smiling at me. Nice! Then I fell asleep."

Aside from that most of the rest of the story came off as good "bare bones" to me. It jumped quickly and I felt slightly jarred, left to catch up. I think the character needs to be developed a bit better that we need to know him as well as you do. Don't assume that we know.. I've heard authors say that you sometimes have to state the obvious, or as my boss has stated: you can't assume that your client (reader) knows what you are talking about.

I look forward to seeing you and this story progress!

Keep on writing!

Deirdre