First time writing poetry

First time writing poetry.
You expect it to flow,
like you've slept with the muses.
No, its crap, total doggerel.
The ungifted deceive themselves
into pride.
Wannabe Rimbauds
they drink too much wine or
absinthe, live poetic lives to
match.
But the gifted crumple
up the paper, throw it in the
trash, not to be recycled.
Bad poetry is undeserving
of Reincarnation.

Hey, Vampyre here to review for you today

I really like this piece, to start us off It's nice to read, and I like the chaos. However, it still needs correct spelling, and I think some punctuation would make it easier to read.
Spelling and punctuation/grammar will be in red, comments and suggestions in bold.

First time writing poetry.
You expect it to flow,
like you've slept with the muses. I honestly love this line "Like you've slept with the muses". Brilliant. XD
No, its crap, total doggerel.
The ungifted deceive themselves
into pride.
Wannabe Rimbauds The only reason I'd split that line up is because otherwise you have an extraordinarily long run-on sentence. We need to breathe!
they drink too much wine or
absinthe, live poetic lives to
match. See above for the reason for splitting this up.
But the gifted crumple
up the paper, throw it in the
trash, not to be recycled.
Bad poetry is undeserving
of Reincarnation. Again, love the closing lines.

Well altogether I really liked this! I'm just wondering if this is actually your first attempt at writing poetry, or if it's a poem about someone poetry being written for the first time. If it's the former, and you want it to have a more polished structure, PM me and I'll go through that. I've left it pretty unstructured because I thought you might want it to look like a jumbled, first poem. However, I do suggest you PM me to look at the structure, as people are more likely to take it seriously if it looks a little more taken care of.

Anyway, I think you clearly have talent poetry-wise, keep writing!
'Pyre

Thanks Vampyre, I appreciate the review. Its actually the latter in this case.

Well then, I commend you. I really like the way you manage to make it look like a first poem and also have it readable and well written!
One thing I'll mention ( I think I might have said it above but you appear to have missed it) is that you need to take out "They" in the line "They drink too much wine or absinthe". Otherwise, it doesn't quite fit, and is slightly awkward. 'Tis not a needed word *reaches out and steals it* Mwa ha ha, now it's no longer there!

Hope at least some of my rambling helped! *Flees with stolen "they"*.

Good work you have done at first attempt.

I liked the two line sin your poetry..
Bad poetry is undeserving
of Reincarnation.
Literature is something which we can reincarnate. every great work is because of reincarnation. You can get idea from bad idea. Poems are source of ideas.
they drink too much wine or
absinthe, live poetic lives to
match.
writing is addiction. Drug is better than this. A person can leave drugs but not writing. Poets are addicted to writing. without it they are good for nothing. I like it very much.

Good work so keep writing

Thank you
Suraj

This is good I like how it flows and it is really well written by the way. Keep up the good work. jenn

I like this. I think my favorite part of the last line. It's kind of messy but I think that gives in character. I was wondering if this was your first time writing poetry or not. Anyways, it's really good and I liked it.

I really like how you have written the poem and the rhythm you created. These lines are my favorite :

"But the gifted crumple
up the paper, throw it in the
trash, not to be recycled.
Bad poetry is undeserving
of Reincarnation."

However, I don't think this is true...bad poetry is a way you can create new poetry. No matter how bad something is that I write, one line, even one word, can give me the inspiration to write a great piece. But in strict terms of writing, the poem was constructed beautifully.

DRdante wrote:First time writing poetry. Maybe a colon instead of a period, just to make the flow better, except of course if you want that to go along with the next line
You expect it to flow,
like you've slept with the muses. Great figurative language here. Maybe a hyphen instead of a period?
No, its crap, total doggerel.
The ungifted deceive themselves
into pride.
Wannabe Rimbauds
they drink too much wine or I would consider taking out "they" or add a comma after Rimbauds, and then maybe switch the "or" to an "and"
absinthe, live poetic lives to
match. "Match" here on its own looks kind of awkward to me, rhythmic wise.
But the gifted crumple
up the paper, throw it in the Maybe "their paper" and add in some description to what the paper looks like (scribbled up, blotted, abused) to really make impactful imagery.[/b]
trash, not to be recycled.
Bad poetry is undeserving
of Reincarnation.

Wonderful closing lines.



Overall:


Before I saw that this was NOT your first attempt, but about first attempts, I was absolutely amazed, and incredibly jealous. As it is, I'm still jealous and amazed. Wonderful piece- I think that maybe you could play around with the rhythm a bit more, but this is a wonderful piece. Great job

-Coral-