Iris Carter

Please tell me what you think, looking for advice about whether it's good enough to continue. I'll be sure to return the comments. Thanks.
Also, I don't really know what to call this, so if you have any suggestions, please comment!

Prologue:
I didn’t want to be normal.
Most main characters with some kind of superpowers will say that all the goals they had in life involved them growing old with someone they loved, and having a billion kids.
In other words, being normal.
But let me tell you, I never want to have children. A bunch of little Iris’s running around would probably not be a good idea.
So I had the opposite problem of all those heroes. They could have my life, I would trade with them at any chance I could get.
Everyone always told me that if I knew what it was really like to live in their shoes, I wouldn’t be so quick on the uptake.
I ignored them. I needed so badly to be something other than the lame human being I was. I wished I could fly, or that I could conjure up flames to dance across the palms of my hands.
But being sixteen with dreams like that can get you killed. Once I got into high school, I kept my true feelings on the down low, and a different version of me was born.
A sarcastic, trigger-happy one.
Well, even more so than I was before.
I was pretty okay with my life for a while. Adjusting took a lot of effort, but I was getting there. Until the day I decided to investigate my past.
I always knew something was different about me, but I didn’t really understand what.
And about the time I figured it all out, I knew I was in a lot of trouble.
‘Cause other people had come to the same conclusions I had, and they were not happy.
Yay for being hunted relentlessly!
Right.

Chapter One:
“Sam, that’s not the right one.” I said, putting as much contempt into my voice as I could.
“Shut up. I knew it wasn’t, but I was curious.” She answered as she put the book back onto the shelf.
I leafed through the thick folder of newspaper clippings, pausing to glance at one with the name Carter in the headline.
“I think I found something.”
My best friend, Samantha, leaned against the back of my chair. “I don’t know… I don’t think it’s the year we’re looking for.”
“I know, I know… but I mean, it could be a clue.” I hungrily read the article, only pausing when Sam took the rest of the newspapers out from under the one I was clenching tightly in my sweaty palms.
After I finished, I realized Sam was correct. The date on the paper said 1991, and we were looking for 1994. The year I was born.
We were looking for a man named, Dale Carter. My dad. Or at least that's what my mother told me. I hadn’t found any evidence of this being true.
I’d never seen my father. My mom met him a year before I was born, but as soon as he learned she was pregnant, he left.
Typical sob story of any forgotten teenager. My step-dad was okay though, and I loved my half-brother. I could have been happy, but for some reason, my mother wouldn’t tell me anything about my real father.
It was almost like she couldn’t remember him sometimes. She would get all misty eyed, and stare into the distance at the mention of his name, but then she would abruptly change the subject when she realized the way the conversation was heading.
I grew tired of it, so I enlisted Sam to come with me down to the library and see if we could find anything on who this guy could be.
We’d been at it for and hour and half, but nothing had come up yet.

well i certainly was involved in it!
i think you have a good mind map that would lead you further in this story and what i like about writers is that when they put there perspective in the story they become so involved they actually have emotions growing in them towards the main character..
you could go easy on making it to typical and i suggest you get more ideas but i can definetly see where your mind is heading from this story. i think you can do your best and continue with the story.
And as for its name how about...."Carter Quest" or " An Unknown Carter" or "My Carter Curiosity"
That is pretty much what is in my mind since it would be associated with a Carter.
I hope you respond to the review and please post it on my wall if you have responded. Good luck and DO CONTINUE!

Hey,
I think you've got a great storyline going and I look forward to seeing what you write next.
I would say, however, (and this is just my personal opinion) that you could do without the prologue entirely. The 1st chapter was very good and well set up, but the prologue just kind of confused things. It just sounded like (and I have this problem too) you were trying too hard to develop your character very specifically and it didn't make much sense. I have a problem with prologues introducing characters of any kind because they tend to attempt to describe the character's entire personality and general being in a few paragraphs. Characters need to be developed slowly, throughout the story.

That being said, I was surprised at the quality of your first chapter. You should make it a little longer, though, before you add another chapter. It was much clearer than your prologue and as long as you continue developing your story in that manner you should have an excellent piece of writing on your hands!

Drawers

I agree to some degree with Drawer. I think it was good but I do get where she's coming from. I didn't find it confusing though. But I guess you don't need it because it said she wasn't normal, but not knowing who your father isn't all that normal (to some degree I guess since I've always known him). Anyway I really loved it and would love you to finish. Pm me when you get the next part, and I think you should make chapter 1 a bit longer.

Hello!

I haven't reviewed in a long while, so pardon if this is rusty and whatever else. All right then, let's hop to it!

The Prologue:

The main purpose for a prologue in any story is to establish the setting, background or any earlier storyline that will eventually [or somehow] ties into the main one. And I have also read it is from the POV of another character. Your prologue, and many I have read before, doesn't really do that. Least wise for me. It seems more like a little place where your character can sit and talk about herself. A little boring. However, you have added a few eye catching things like:

Most main characters with some kind of superpowers

So I am no doubt going to assume that Iris has superpowers! Hopefully she does...and you will explain further what they are. Superpowers are cool. I wish I had one for awesome fighting moves so I could pummel my little brother to the ground when he's being annoying

Anyways, I'm getting off track. In my personal opinion, you really don't need this little fellow. Your prologue I mean. You could easily just jump straight into the story [like your Chapter One] and slowly add those interesting tidbits you wrote in your prologue into your first chapter! It would prove more interesting and draw in more readers that way.

Chapter One:

“Shut up. I knew it wasn’t, but I was curious.” She answered as she put the book back onto the shelf. 

This was the first thing I noticed. See that bolded part ^? That period should be a comma and "she" shouldn't be capitalized. Check out this for further explanation.

Second off, you need more description! There isn't enough in my opinion. Your characters need to be doing a little more [nail chewing, foot tapping, etc.] and describe your setting a little bit. I have no idea where they are! I'm thinking a library, but don't let your readers guess that. Describe it a little. The rows of books, the chairs, tables, anything.

Overall:

It's a typical storyline. MC wants to know more about a parent they've never met, and wish to find said parent. Other parent speaks nothing of the other, etc. Kind of common. Kind of clichéd. In fact, it's one of my favourite! The MC is on the interesting side, for not wanting to be normal [but who honestly does?].

I enjoyed reading it. Like I said, you could do without that prologue and do with a little more description. But it was nice and I wouldn't mind reading on to see who her father actually is.

Toodles!

Meadow

P.S. If you post anymore up or wish to speak about the review, just PM me.

Alright, my first review or whatever you would like to call it. I really liked it, but the 1st chapter lacked some details and it was kind of short. I want to know what these people look like, what are their surroundings like, and what are they thinking. You did a great job grabbing the readers attention. You took kind of a cliche topic and made it interesting with the whole superpowers thing. It really makes the reader wonder "Where is her dad?" "Does he have superpowers?" "Does Iris's mom have super powers?" "Does Sam know about these powers?" Of course i know this is only the first chapter and you have yet to explain these things but these are just some things to keep in mind while adding to this chapter and for writing future chapters. I hope to read more soon! Keep up the great work!

Very nice. This is a good start. I am not one for changing what is in the story unless the person asked so I won't give you any of that. I thought it was very interesting. My music on youtube stopped and I got so caught up in the story I didn't change it. Yes that is a big deal. Just continue strong and keep it going.

Hey i think this is great!! But to me i think maybe varying the paragraph lengths would really help make this something amazing. I was involved in the story and think it could really go somewhere