Summer

I like the first part a lot, but then it seems to get kind of sad. The only problem I have with this poem is a portion of the second stanza:

But when I think of summer I don’t think of those things
I think about my summer job
And how I’m going to afford my class ring
I spend my days turning knobs like doors?
Occasionally going to the lake to listen to the sing this part doesn't really make that much sense, and since you have more syllables in the last line than the first four lines it kind of ruins the flow of things
so maybe you should reword the last line, hope this helps

-Rayne

What I meant by knobs is door knobs, you know because the person has to work and turning doornobs is my idea of her working because she's moving alot? And the sing of the lake is because when you go to a lake at night I think it just seems to sing. Not literally, but sometimes it's so pretty you feel that way.

I can see why you think they don't belong. I'm not the best poetry writer in the world so often times I get so preoccupied getting it to ryme and sound right that I don't pay attention to what the poem is actually saying. I'll have to think about what you said. Thanks.

Oh and by the way, Rayneisthename, this type of poem is actually called an Ottava Rima. You start with eight syllables and then take one away each time, eventually going back to the eight and back down again. I did a double, which is why there's two stanzas and the first one is different from the last one. I know it's kind of sad, but the idea for the poem was meant to be that way because I'm probably going to have to get a summer job this year because I'm going to college in the fall. I hope that cleared things up for you a bit.

Love it. I know there's room for improvement but I can't quite pin-point where.