Back in February half term I was given the opportunity to go skiing in Austria.
Let’s just say I don’t think I am naturally gifted at skiing. After many trips and falls I learnt that the key was to stand up, take a bow, pick up my skis, and get right back to it!
If you have ever seen the film Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say she wasn’t particularly good at skiing. Before I left for the white slopes of Austria, my close friend Galia joked that I would end up staying on the ski lift too long, like Bridget Jones and fall off at the complete wrong time.
Turns out she wasn’t far wrong! The only difference between me and Bridget Jones was that I fell off too soon!
I was sat on the ski lift for the first time with my friend and experienced skier, Amy. Naturally I trusted everything she had to say about skiing. I wish I hadn’t. Just as we were nearing the top of the mountain she told me “Slowly ease yourself forward...” Let’s just say I plummeted into a huge pile of snow. The professional Austrian skiers and the rest of my ski group watched in amazement as I survived the fall. How embarrassing!
My skiing disaster continued as the fog built up and literally blinded me. I am not joking when I say that I couldn’t see beyond the end of my skis. My group began to ski down a new slope (apparently one of the easiest slopes!) in big curves. Tiny, Austrian robot children in matching red jackets, skied down beautifully, in perfect curves all around me.
I had not quite learnt how to control the giant flippers fastened to my feet. The tops of my skis crossed over which made me lose entire control. I stopped making curves and crashed into many robot children. None of them fell over though. Those Austrian skiers are perfectionists!
As I was gaining pace I decided that the best thing to do would be to simply collapse to the ground to stop still. I simply sat straight down as if I were to sit in a relaxing, comfy armchair.
However, my idea didn’t quite go to plan as my skis were wedged into the snow. My legs were too weak to lift my heavy ski boots, so my skis dragged my body along the floor of the slope towards to edge of the cliff. I must have looked like the most child out and laziest skier ever!
I thought I was stuck in snowplough position but was informed otherwise when a skinny Austrin woman with hair like a scarecrow and Pinocchio’s nose screamed, “She’s in death position!”
A new friend, Georgia, somehow managed to stop me before I flew off the cliff. Thank goodness! To this day I still don’t quite understand how she rescued me. Perhaps she is a member of the Incredibles family and has some sort of abnormal super power. Anyway, I attempted to get back to my feet and as I did I made the mistake of turning my head ever so slightly to the left.
I watched in a mixture of horror and astonishment as a boy from my skiing group, George, was cascading down the mountain at the speed of light. I had seen Goofy do a similar thing in one of those funny Disney films I watched as a child. You know, where he rolls down a snow covered slope turning into a huge snowball.
A blanket of snow sprayed over me as he flew past at top speed. He managed to fall and stop himself a few metres from me and Georgia. I remember not being able to see his face because it was covered completely in snow, even the very tip of his nose. Georgia and I burst into uncontrollable laughter and we still chuckle about it to this day.
That is what made my first ever ski trip so memorable and entertaining. Yes, I risked my life and my sanity along the way, but I also met amazing people, saw incredible sites and experienced things I never imagined I would.
I'd say that learning to ski is like learning how to ride a bike. You just have to try as hard as possible, avoid giving up despite how hopeless it seems, and suddenly you’ll get the hang of it! The sense of excitement, accomplishment and pride filled my ski group on the last day as we made it down the mountain (alive!) without a single trip, wobble or fall. It was definitely the icing on the cake. What an achievement!
Will I ever go skiing again? Probably not. However, I will never forget my near death experiences on the sparkling snow covered mountains of Austria.
