You Judge Her By Her Faults

She drowns herself out in the music
The noise soothes the feelings she hides
She laughs at the world
That scorns her constantly 
She cries blood red tears
She wishes it didn't have to be like this
Things almost always
End
She prays to a God that she hopes
Listens
The way she dresses
The attitude she has at the world 
Are all in you're hands because
You judge her by her faults

Hey,

right, content was good.

My main flaw was that it was just one sentence. I was going light headed, joke. Add punctuation to aid flow and give the reader oxygen or they will lose intrest.

I'm going to use an analogy I use a lot- weighing scales. Each side representes someting; emotion and imagery. For a poem to be truly great the scales must be balanced (Scales, as in the Libra star sign), however, here the scales are tipped a lot more towards emotion but you don't have the imagery to balance it out. I would add imagery to see where that get's you.

I liked the poem however, it was good and I can defienetly see potential.

PM me for anything.
Keep it up.

~Retro Disco666

I concur with retrodisco666, please add punctuation to this poem for it could make it a thousand times better than it already is. I did enjoy it for I could feel it emotionally reaching out. Poetry need not be punctuated, especially if it is free verse which this seems to be. However, I find punctuation, proper grammar, and symmetry in a poem really add to its finesse.

I did enjoy reading this, but this is my attempt at adding punctuation (which I'm not that great at myself so excuse me for mistakes).

MusicAndWritingSpeak wrote:She drowns herself out in the music,
The noise soothes the feelings she hides.
She laughs at the world
That scorns her constantly, 
She cries blood red tears.
She wishes it didn't have to be like this.
Things almost always
End.
She prays to a God that she hopes
Listens.
The way she dresses,
The attitude she has at the world 
Are all in you're hands because
You judge her by her faults.

I hope that helped some, but keep up the good work! ^_^

Hey

'Pyre's here to review for you today

Firstly, I really like the emotion in this poem. As a punk/goth who goes around giving free hugs and telling random people they're beautiful, I get quite a lot of looks/judgements, so I know what you mean about the judgement parts, although I admit I only laugh and carry on at them.
Anyway, the main problem here is punctuation, though I think mystiquevander has covered all that, so I'll just add that you need to change "You're" in the penultimate line to "your".
It should then flow like this (I've also added comments in bold):


She drowns herself out in the music,
The noise soothes the feelings she hides. I really like these lines, I think they're very strong, and really grip me.
She laughs at the world
That scorns her constantly. Again, I really like these.
She cries blood red tears.
She wishes it didn't have to be like this. Ok, while I liked these lines, I think "blood red" is a little cliché. Try find a different way of describing the colour "bleeding tears", "deep red tears", something like that. (Sorry, I know those are awful examples)
Things almost always
End.
She prays to a God that she hopes
Listens.
The way she dresses,
The attitude she has at the world
Are all in your hands because
You judge her by her faults I really love these last lines, good job

Ok, I know that wasn't a great review but to be honest it was only me being nit-picky, your poem doesn't really need much improving on, you're obviously very talented

Happy writing!
Vampyre