A Lion Without His Roar.

A Lion Without His Roar.

Your soft voice is a mighty roar,
Without it I'd be a pathetic excuse for a lion.
And to tell you the truth, I hate it here.
But I can't go on in silence.

I'm just a lion, and what's that worth?
White teeth to bare, black claws to spread,
But I can't say a word.

Just put me in a pet carrier.
Because a lion without his roar
is no lion at all.

-poet

My favorite part.-

Just put me in a pet carrier.
Because a lion without his roar
is no lion at all.

I like this. It is short and snippy, but it has a whole lot of substance. Less said, more seen.
Nice work!

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-jojo

Hello Poet!

This is good No mistakes I can see, only that capital you missed there,

Just put me in a pet carrier.
Because a lion without his roar
Is no lion at all

I loved it, it was cute and corky. It was fun to read it
Keep writing!

-Truth-

poet wrote:A Lion Without His Roar.

Your soft voice is a mighty roar, Remember to rewrite this stanza to help fit the lack of those lines.
Without it I'd be a pathetic excuse for a lion.
And to tell you the truth, I hate it here. You don't need to say this, it works but it's not needed, because we will see how/why you hate it here.
But I can't go on in silence. This line isn't needed either. We'll find this out later on in a better way, in the third stanza.

I'm just a lion, and what's that worth? You shouldn't ask us questions, we're supposed to ask those questions. Because you give us stuff to question. Like if you said Teeth of plaster and black bottle claws. Something that is worthless to us and worthless to the lion. Plus you can use this for connections between how you hate it here.
White teeth to bare, black claws to spread,
But I can't say a word. Again, we'll see a better way to say this.

Just put me in a pet carrier.
Because a lion without his roar
is no lion at all. This is a good ending and has the best connecter in my mind, to what you're really talking about. I'd say keep this stanza the same. Plus it shows a little bit more of what you hate. Being trapping and what not

Overall:
I like it,(I don't say that much.) but you have some mistakes.

The biggest mistake is telling a little too much over showing, but you did show some, and it is worth keeping. I like how this is a more indirect poem too. You have your ideas and set up down,
Now you just need to work on your imagery. And for the parts I say delet because we'll see how you hate it, give more to that, what makes you want to say you can't take it? What actions, what happened to make you feel that way? Stuff like that, because when you say you can't take it, it doesn't tell anything to us. There should be a thought in our head, he can't take it, it's a reaction that we should have to what you say. So what will make us say you can't take it? Give an example and make it fit with your poem, and do that for everything that you feel that haven't done so for.

Now, The claws and teeth part, that should be kept. You can work more with it. (more above in the quote). The pet carrier part is good too, I've said that already. And they're also examples of the simple imagery you can shoot for. More so the pet carrier because it suggests that you are trapped and/or you don't care about yourself. The teeth and claws part is imagery but it doesn't mean anything to us, and that could be what you're shooting for because it gives a so what idea, but that's very limited. It's more so useless to reenforce something you've already said like that because doesn't tell us anything interesting. And like saying I can't take it here, this pretty much is the same mistake once you think it out, because we still don't get to see why you think these things.

If you give an action, we can see what happens, and why you feel the way you do. We can, also, reason further to other conclusions.
And about that reminder to rewrite, it's not an insult of any kind, I've been yelled at for not saying to rewrite because someone miss read my review, and I am saying it because you're newer and probably not farmilar with my reviewing style.
I hope too see more you,

good luck, keep writing,
PM me with any concerns or ways to improve my reviews;
Silented1.

Everyone else has said basicly everything so all I would like to say is I enjoyed this poem quite well done!

When you look at the metaphorical meaning of this poem it hits you deep down in your soul and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I especially enjoy the fact that you caged the lion but gave it a voice that said "I'm not anything if you try to cage me". It was very beautiful