Hand Vrs. Head

Other than editing old poems, this is the first poetry I've written recently. I appreciate reviews. My poetry definitely needs improvement.

I edited. (thanks for the reviews) I'll finish editing the first two lines in a bit.

I love writing.
It’s just great.
But some things my brain likes,
My hand has learned to hate.

I have ideas
But I always find;
My brain’s a mile ahead;
my hand’s ten miles behind.

"You’re going too fast,"
My hand tells my brain.
"You are going too slow.
The paper’s still plain."

They get into fights,
And nothing gets done.
My paper’s not written,
And the school bell has rung.

I love this poem it is very true

Hey 'babez' you certainly seem to be writing a lot of poetry and certainly one is better then the other, heres a quick review of this one

I love writing.
It’s just great.
But some things my brain likes,
My hand has learned to hate.

the third line " But some things my brain hates..." isnt all that poetical its just seemes wrong i dont know what to replace it with yet but i know you will figure it out

I have ideas,
But I always find;
My brain’s a mile ahead,
And my hand’s ten miles behind.

this shows your hands truly hate writing you should give em a break once in a while

‘You’re going to fast,’
My hand says to my brain.
‘You’re going to slow.
The paper’s still plain.’

The the rhymes on this one and it made me giggle, very well written

They get into fights,
And nothing gets done.
My paper’s not written,
And the school bell has rung.

Awww i feel this is a much better ending then you did in your previous poem,

All in all you sould be proud of yourself, good job

hope i helped,
stay motivated

Yours Truly Stephene

I think stephene got all the nitpicks so I'll go with the flow and my personal opinion.
Flow: The (can't think of word!) talking is good and flows suprisingly well *Is jeleaos.* The ryhmes are great and the poem flows well. Great job!
Personal opinion: I think most writers can totally relate to this poem. (Including me!) The ending is perfect and with the words I wouldn't change much. My only nitpick is:
I have ideas,
But I always find; THIS
My brain’s a mile ahead,
And my hand’s ten miles behind.

You see where I put the "This" mark? I'm not sure that's the correct puncuation check that please! I look foward to here more!

Hello there
Since you are relatively new here, welcome to YWS!

Generally, I found this poem a little quirky and true at the same time. I have the same problem, if it is a problem, where I can't get anything done. I also liked your attempt to make the rhyming consistent. I will be honest, it's not easy writing a poem that rhymes without making it cheesy. Good job.

Keep writing

I love writing, Using a comma here will help this piece to flow.
It’s just great.

The first two lines of this verse have 4 syllables followed by 3. Minus the exception I list below, the rest all have five. Rewrite this and I think your poem will sound more polished.

But some things my brain likes,
My hand has learned to hate.

Like this one, the majority of your closing lines of each verse have 6 syllables. A few don't, though, and they stick out. Try changing them.

I have ideas Delete the comma here, otherwise there's an unnatural pause.
But I always find;

And my hand’s ten miles behind. 7 syllables. I suggest deleting 'and' then adding a semi-colon to the end of the last line.

‘You’re going too fast,’
My hand says to my brain. This line has six syllables. My suggestion is that you change 'says to' to 'tells' to make it fit the rest of the meter.

‘You’re going too slow.
The paper’s still plain.’ I'm not sure why you use single quotes with the dialog. It should be double. Also, add a syllable to both of these lines somehow and they will match your established pattern, which will help pull your piece together.

Watch your meter. I listed out the syllable number of each line below.
4
3
6
6

5
5
6
7

5
6
5
5

5
5
6
6

Overall, I like this. It's quirky and light-hearted, it just needs to be smoothed out to make it really pop.

awesome, awesome! I have read your other poetry too, and you are really good:)