Mellow Tragic

Mellow Tragic

2-5-06

Mellow Tragic
Down a deep dog’s eye
hear the street wrinkle, solid expectation
give the world to this tumbling sky.

Yesterday, I imagined
and I thought I must be insane
because my thoughts weren’t mine,
inside my eyne, and so the world changed.

Yesterday, gotta call it magic
Mellow tragic
in acts of cutting pride.

Cool.
I love the first stanza. The dog's eye is a wonderful image, plus
give the world to this tumbling sky.
Just loverly.

The middle stanza I liked... less. I'm not sure why. Something to do with the rhythm, maybe. It seemed more obvious, or forced, and a little distracting. But, great use of the word "eyne". I had to look it up.

The last stanza I loved again. Short and sweet, and the last line is brilliant. It's so... fierce, or something. Fierce and proud.

Every time I read this poem I like it more.

i agree with blackdaisy. the second stanza was lacking the same feeling as the rest of the poem, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, but as i didn't like it.... mhmm

the whole term "mellow tragic" is exceedingly catchy and i can't help finding myself repeating it over and over in my mind.
eyne isn't in my dictionary.

Eyne is an archaic word, it's in Shakespeare a lot, it means all a person's eyes. I use it to include the mind's eye. I think you can do that, I might be wrong. I stopped the second stanza because I was starting to feel nuts because I wrote this while...anyway, I love my ending to that stanza. Like it doesn't feel like the meter will work, but the last few words totally save the meter, and also save the stanza..."and so the world changed." It's my fav bit of the piece. Except the name is really good too. Haha, I love complimenting myself. I am a genius, though, so I can do it.

Modest, aren't we?
But I liked 'and so the world changed.' too.