Young Writers Society


Green, Green Eyes

4 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 795
Reviews 45
Green like gold, shining brightly;
Stroking my every pore with your light;
Caressing every wall of every vein.

Give me your flaxen hair in my hands.
Let me wear it forever like my own,
A caress that always pulls me back to you.
It makes my heart ache with a sweet memory.

How can I feel it in your neck when you touch my arm?
What is what? Who is who?
Are they alive, or just some brush of the players' hands
In an endless game of people.

Your scent reaches down into the base of my stomach,
Drowning my whole body in our soul,
Templating the waters of our skin.
We will never be impure again,
Always with the antidote.

Kiss me a spark of life on my yearning lips.
Awaken me from this hazy dream.
Bring me truly to heaven and back,
And back to heaven, and back to earth;
Back, and back.

Flow with me in the nectar of our heart.
Grasp me, be me tightly.
Forget the anatomy -
I am you and you are my everything.
Hold close, we mustn't fall apart.

Let's sleepwalk over each other like ghosts in heaven.
Let's remember how it feels to truly see above the clouds.
Let's fly over the florescent hills like fireflies,
Reflecting the past and the future,
All in one concentrated beam,
All in your green, green eyes.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1778
Reviews 70
Wow, this was simply a beautiful poem . Every word was sown together in a tapestry worthy of praise. The emotions in this poem were exceptional, If I decipher correctly then the emotions were seeming to be longing, love, hope something along those lines . There were no grammatical errors of which I could spy, but I could have missed them.

How can I feel it in your neck when you touch my arm?

It was only in this one sentence that I found myself lost because I don't understand and to me, whatever you were trying to say in this sentence, wasn't portrayed well enough so that I could understand.. - I probably just repeated myself but if you don't know what I'm trying to say just message me .

Otherwise, I'd say this poem deserves a two thumbs up. I'm amazed that no one but me reviewed it yet. Well,
Write on,

- Wisp.
To fly away on gossamer wings, sheer as night's reflective glow, I would could I cradle child hecate to my breast.

|| Wisp. ||




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 381
Reviews 65
Wow. That's a great poem. You're really talented. Keep writing! :)
♥unsocialbutterfly♥




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 795
Reviews 45



On some days, my will to write disappears faster than a donut at a police station.
— Arcticus