)This really is a work in progress. I'm looking for some help mostly with the structure of this more than anything because I feel like it is untidy. But also any thoughts on the ideas etc would be much appreciated! It is meant to be like her thoughts so that is why there are words missing and a lot of short sentences because that is how we think! Also please read it with the enjambment where there is enjambment because I wrote it like that for a reason
Thanks in advance! Home. Should be homely.
But not my home.
Too many bad things for me to call it that.
So I didn’t.
But when he did it, I thought I could tell ‘em.
So I did.
Mum, I said. Mum I’ve....
Then her jumpin’ to her stupid
conclusions
HIV!
No! No that’s not it. I’m....
Then a whispered word low enough
just for her to hear.
She yelled it out, a deafenin’ shout.
And he came runnin’.
She could sense my fear
she knew it was him, him who did it.
She stepped in front.
A wall of noise
concrete bangin’ on my ears
Her screamin’ ‘im shoutin’
then a fist.
Solid bone and little flesh
a metal ring smashes my head.
The floor.
Cold comfort.
Then a hand wrenchin’ me up
slammin’ me against the door
my body crumplin’
my searin’ pain
my hand gropin’ for the handle
a click.
Me pushin’ with the last of
my strength
Fallin’ onto the path outside.
Stomach smashin’ down
taking most of the force.
I felt it die.
Then my head. Concrete.
Blood on my fingers.
Tears in my eyes.
Hands.
One clutching stomach.
One clutching head.
One last thought.
Dad.
You got what you wanted.
Now your baby’s dead.
