Poison

People usually drink wine with meals,
Rosé, white or red regardless,
I take a swig of poison,
but don't take salt, but arsanic.

A sucide attempt, how drole.
Happiness in a bottle of sleeping pills.
You misunderstand my situation, doctor.
I don't want to die;
just live a different life.

*Not much and want to add more but don't know what*

REALLY NICE!

Grammar is in bold

retrodisco666 wrote:People usually drink wine with meals,
Rosé, white, or red regardless,
I take a swig of poison,
but don't take salt, but arsenic.

A suicide attempt, how droll.
Happiness in a bottle of sleeping pills.
You misunderstand my situation, doctor.
I don't want to die;
just live a different life.

I take a swig of poison,
not salt, but arsenic.

When you say..."but don't take salt,.." it sound a bit repetitive.
You could try saying- " not salt, but arsenic.." and such and such. It makes it a little more straight forward, but still leaves a sense of mystery.
* and the 1st line sounds a bit...off.
other than that, pretty good!

Fantastic! I love this poem. It's really interesting. My favorite line is "I don't want to die; just live a different life." I really like that part. The part about the salt and arsenic is a bit confusing, but I get what your trying to say. I think you should add to this, like you said, and see what it makes out to be.

I liked this a lot. You have a really interesting way of laying out your thoughts. My only criticism is that the last line of the first stanza is very awkwardly worded. I actually like the poem at its current length, it makes it hard-hitting and keeps it from being overdone. If you want to add to it, though, you could go into why you want to live a different life and/or what that life would be like.
Nice work.

retrodisco666 wrote:People usually drink wine with meals,
Rosé, white or red regardless,
I take a swig of poison,
but don't take salt, but arsanic. What does that have to do with anything?

A sucide attempt, how drole.
Happiness in a bottle of sleeping pills.
You misunderstand my situation, doctor.
I don't want to die;
just live a different life.

I LOVE THIS STANZA
*Not much and want to add more but don't know what*

I loved this freaking poem! Its so good! You can feel the words flow naturally off your tongue as you read it. I love how you ended it. Pure genius. Your an incredible poet.