I loved you, I cared for you, I died for you.
You weren’t sure, you were confused, you hated yourself for missing the chance.
It all started one day at school, it was a new semester and we got new timetables. As I was doing my work there was a knock at the door, I look to see who it was out of common curiosity, I wanted to see who it was, it was you and your friends, you are in my class and I am nervous now. I don’t really talk to you, your one the ‘popular’ kids, to cool to talk to me, and you sat behind me. As the lesson goes by you and your friends talk and I listen, I know I shouldn’t but I did. You drop your pen and asked if I could pick it up for you, you called my name and I gave it to you without eye contact and you say thanks.
Weeks go on and I try to talk to you, but I loss my courage. Every night before I sleep I think of us being together, every chance I get to wish for something it’s always “I wish we could be together”, but it never happens.
I make poems for you, but never give them to you, I always think of plans to express my emotions, but I just cower.
There are rumours in the school about a year 12 got treaded really badly by some year 9’s and started doing drugs, but that’s just a rumour.
There are days where I see you looking at me, I look back at you, but you look away. I know there are feelings of us inside you; I just wish we could express them.
I turn up to school one day and go to P.E theory. You ask if you can go get a drink and so do I. We walk to the drink taps in silence, and then I try to break the silence. “So did you hear the rumour about that year 12 that got treaded badly by some year 9’s then went on drugs?”
“Yes, I don’t think it’s real though, I just think it’s a rumour”
“So do I”.
As we walk back to class in silence again we hear foot steps in the quadrangle. We turn around and there is a year 12 boy standing five meters away from us with a gun in this right hand and some drugs in his left.
“It’s true” you scream
“Don’t say anything” I whisper
“It’s because of you stupid year 9’s that I’ve become like this, depressed, I can’t take it anymore”
“We didn’t do anything to you” I say
“No, no you didn’t, but it was others of your kind” he says to us
“Were human just like you” you say
“Yes well im gona teach you PESTS a lesson”
The drugged boy lifts his gun and points it to you. Teachers and students run out to see what all the commotion is.
“Nathan you don’t need to do this” one of the teachers yells to the drugged boy.
“Yes I do, these year 9’s have screwed with my life for the last time”.
The gun and drugged boy are still five meters away from us, as you go to move he pulls the trigger I act instantaneously and I jump in front of you and save your life, but the bullet goes right into my heart and I fall to the ground, but you catch me and my wish comes true. Teachers run and grab Nathan, the drugged boy and others help you and call the ambulance. As I lay here looking at you I say something.
“I want you to look at something”
“What?” you ask
“I want you to go on a website called YWS, the young writers society, and go into a user called CaptianRandom, and in the profile I want you to read the poems in there.” I say
And at that moment I die, still looking into your eyes, and you start to cry.
You go home and think of me, you go on the computer and think of me, you go on YWS and you think of me, you find my user and think of me, you read my poems and you cry. You make a user yourself and write poems back about me.
You regret not trying to talk to me, you regret not trying to start a conversation with me, you regret not trying to start a relationship with me.
Even though I am long gone from this world I still love you and I regret not trying to do those things with you. But you love me now, because I died for you.
