Love Lies

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This was a blog but I wanted some reviews(:


"Forever." I smiled. I couldn't help but to smile. I would do anything for this boy. This blue eyed, scrawny 14 year old boy, held my heart in the palm of his hand.
I remember the first time I saw him. I remember the way I had stopped, stared and forgot everything. Right when I saw him, I knew soul mates existed and mine was staring right at me.
I remember our first kiss. I remember the soft chewy gum that left a citrus taste on the rims of my teeth. I remember shoving the gum deep in my jaw as his tongue entered my lips. And that breath of new life I breathed. I felt love enter my lungs. Enter my life.
I remember our first fight, I cried afraid of the loss, blaming myself. I remember begging and pleading, telling him I would stop at nothing until he was mine. "Were meant to be Ronnie, please don't do this to me." Desperate. I remember the many fights and break ups after that. I remember how he took me for granted.
I remember our one year. I remember the distance that had grown between us. I remember trying to ignore it. I can still see him smiling, holding me. I can still feel him. One year.
I remember the first time he cheated. I remember how he had said the words "It was a mistake." Tears dripping and racing down my face. Again I took the blame. Again I took him back.
I remember the last time I ever saw Ronnie. The sun setting, both of us clutching unto each other standing in the middle of rocky red dirt road. Kissing him, feeling him. Being his. Forever.
I remember our 2 year. How I just knew that I got lucky, that THIS that HIM was why I was put on earth, why God put him here. To love me.
I remember the last time he broke up with me. Left me cold, I couldn't even breathe. I couldn't think. I remember the first time I cut, I remember letting the blood fall and gently spill all over his picture.
I knew that was the last of me and Ronnie.
That was over a year ago.
I see you, your falling for me. 8 months is a long time. And I know how it feels to be in love for the first time. I know the tingle in your lips and the anxiety your heart holds for me. I know you think this will last, I know I tell you it will. But, love lies....
just ask Ronnie.




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This is a very powerful piece. You clearly put a lot of emotion into writing this, and you've made it so that the reader can pull out that emotion and feel it themselves. The repetition of "I remember" makes it even more moving and reminds me of a Merrill Glass poem:

"Remember the time you lent me your car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me...
but you didn't.

Remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal
and you came in jeans?
I thought you'd hate me...
But you didn't

Remember the times I'd flirt with other boys
just to make you jealous, and you were?
I thought you'd drop me...
But you didn't.

There were plenty of things you did to put up with me,
to keep me happy, to love me and there are so many things
I wanted to tell you when you returned from Vietnam...
But you didn't."


Really great work. I don't have any real criticisms to give you. Nice job.




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Gender Female
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aww this poem brought tears to my eyes i love it though and i think u should publish this one
love is not what you can hold its what you feel in your heart for the ones you love




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Gender Female
Points 965
Reviews 95
Thank you Angel heart(: it was about my first love(:



"Honestly, I think the world is going to end bloody. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't fight. We do have choices."
— Dean Winchester