It's In My Blood

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Gender Female
Points 719
Reviews 562
wriggling ropes of ink
in my veins
tying me ever so carefully
(why’d I write a sailor?)
to the words;
they severed all other ties,
magnificent blades of
blackened twine,
charred in hellfires
from a book I wrote when I was nine.

and they pulled me down,
tugged, shoved,
wrapped round my wrists
and never relented;
I gave up the fight
after only seconds,
recognizing that my words
were much more powerful
than I ever would be.

they pulled me into the sun,
into the black space
of nothingness and everything
and my imagination,
virus to time and silence
infected all else,
pulled it in and spat it out.

all I could do was sit
and mutter unfortunate things
to myself, helpless and captive
with dreams slicing into my wrists,
stopped only by bone,
writhing and thrashing
when I tried to move.

I had no choice,
no choice at all,
but to write.





So, this is a somewhat new style/topic for me. I'm not sure about everything after the first two stanzas, and am thinking of a rewrite. I wanted to get some input before I trashed it though.
Thanks for reading!




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Gender Male
Points 3563
Reviews 109
Excellent use of imagery. It took a couple of read-throughs to pick up on and understand all of the different symbolic elements. The only section I'm not sure about is the final stanza. The message it sends is very important to the poem, but its simple, straightforward style seems out of place after the richly poetic sections above it.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2001
Reviews 45
This is really good. It was kind of confusing at first but then I re-read it and it made sense. I loved the ending! Out of all of it that was my favorite part. You said this style of writing was new to you, but I think you did really well with this writing type. Keep writing! I'v read other pieces by you and there really good! :)
Life can be amazing if your slightly strange




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3277
Reviews 138
Hey there! You said that this was a new style of writing for you. I agree with Wondergirl, this was really well done. I seriously think that you should do more in this style; it would get even better I'm sure! I've read some of your other work and you are a fantastic writer! Keep it up!
~Luxy :-D
...or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it?
Fear makes the wolf seem bigger.
I got attacked by a swan.




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Gender None specified
Points 2122
Reviews 43
I'm not a poet, so I won't comment on your writing style/topic. But it was definitely effective (I need a new word, 'effective' starts sounding bland when you use it too much. Maybe if I say it in French... Moving on.)

The best bit about this poem for me (apart from the fact that it had me hooked from the first line) was that I guess I could relate to it. That feeling of having to write, having no choice but to write, like the words are in control and I'm just a way for them to get onto paper? That's me all over!

The only thing I have left to say is... keep writing! Please?
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.-Japanese Proverb



Life’s disappointments are harder to take if you don’t know any swear words.
— Bill Watterson