Young Writers Society

-Me?-

I am-
That is-
What for?
Because.

For whom it matters?
I haven't a clue.
For those who banter?
Off to big Blue.

My life is filled,
With Music and Wit.
My only problem,
Is whom to share it with.

He, me, she, they,
It doesn't matter either way.
For us or for them,
We'll never really know when.

I end this with questions:
What does it matter to me?
Or, for that matter, to you?
Only time can ultimately see.

*I wrote this poem this morning waiting for my bus. I'm not sure where the inspiration derived from or why I wrote this. All I know is that it possibly gives an idea of my true personality, the real Gray Spam that I got hidden under this swagger and poise. Hope you enjy, tell me all your problems with this, and please, come again!

Well, this poem is really interesting..... In the beginning it is really confusing but by the third stanza the fog kind of clears up. I just really think you should just fix the beginning because the rest of it is great. I hope this helps.....

So like the first reviewer said, the beginning's confusing but then it's cleared up, but I actually like that. I remember reading another poem of yours and I guess I'm not so good at critiquing your work since it's sort of the rough and loose style that I really like reading. It feels really genuine to me, and that's hard to accomplish, especially in such a short piece. Anyways, I honestly like this. Just make sure to always expand on your ideas so we get a clear idea of what you're saying, but this is a good poem.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

actually for me, the first stanza was my favorite :)

"I am-
That is-
What for?
Because."

it reminds me of what I sound like in my head when I try to think about who I am or what I want and such and so forth. kind of a stuttery nonsense.

the second stanza I didn't really get, but it still sounds spiffy and poetic. anyways, overall it's a pretty good poem, especially for being written while waiting for the bus. that early in the morning, my brain can't function enough to put the milk in the fridge instead of the cupboard :P

so uppity-thumbs on that, thanks for the good read :)

Thanks for the reviews, gals! I always love seeing what people think about anything I have written, especially my poetry, since I used to think poetry was pointless and didn't really care for it. ut, apparently I have a knack for it. Anywho, onward to my explanations...

First stanza: I created this after reading the book Redwall by Brian Jacques. The main character's name can be spelled out with the first two lines, I am/That is. Matthias. I liked that, but thought, in a grammatical sense, it needed more. So, I added a little bit and it stuck with me. Sometimes I would write that at the top of class work if I was bored and just think of the different ways it could be rearranged and switched around and such. If you think about it, the first stanza can be rearranged in nearly every possibly way you can think up. Just try it. So as for adding it, I dunno, I just put it in without a lot of thought, and took off from there, going off the basis thought of myself and things that are me.

I've reread this poem a few times since I first wrote it and posted it ad I keep thinking more and more about it's meaning myself. I did have a few thoughts when I wrote it, but as far as it's interpretation, it seems to change each time I read it. Which, I guess, is ultimately what I meant for it to do. I like it when a story or poem withholds it's level of awe and mystery, leaving room for interpretation, yet also giving way to constant change, like an ocean or a person.

Anyways, I'm glad you three liked it, and I hope you keep reading my poems. I may try to write another one tomorrow, but we'll see. One mustn't over cast ones own knowing.

Zac (A.K.A. The Walkin' Dude)

Frankly, I really like this poem. It seems to have a deeper meaning within it that some people might not see.

The only thing that I really think could be improved upon is to give it more of a flow - just a smidge. But honestly, with this type of poem, you should write it however it comes to you. I say this because I can tell that it does hold a special meaning. Therefor, I believe that you did a beautiful job writing this piece. =]

This is a nice poem actually.
I really liked the rhymes it seems to give a little bounce to the overall poem.It seemed to me more of a really fun and jolly song but when you explained the first stanza it seemed to contain a deeper meaning.I cant find any fault with it so this review won't be much help I suppose Anyway this is really good so keep writing.

....July4Ruby....

I really like this piece, it seems to have concept.
The beginning really threw me out the window, because I didn't really understand it, but I think I had a really good flow to it. I also think that it was a good idea to end with the questions that you did because it made the reader(me) think about the poem more and made me re-read it to try to understand and decode the poem.

overall, good job! A few minor places where I got lost but not bad.
Continue your creativity,
Ash .

Yeah, I agree with the fact that the beginning is a bit confusing...perhaps you could clear this up a little? I got lost in the words and it took a while to get out, but I think that this can easily be fixed. Other then that, I think this was well done! Keep writing!

For some reason, this reminded me of Redwall written by Brian Jacques, there was a poem rather similar to this one becasue to the use of metaphor. well done, though. I love the rhythm.

I like the message it sends out. Keep writing.