Hey. This is my first post on here. This is just something I wrote about a month ago, and I wanted to see what people think.
Disappointed. One word that was so much worse than others. One word that said this was so much worse than anything else that had ever happened. Worse than when I snuck out one night to see a movie with some friends. Worse than the time I ran my bike into my dad’s boss’s car. Worse even, than the time I got arrested for assault. How much worse can you get, than being caught for robbing a store?
I know it sounds bad, but when you try to run off with a trolley of food and alcohol, people aren’t so lenient. That’s why today is the day I get my freedom. My freedom controlled by my dad. My freedom, after eight moths in the Juvenile Detainment Center. Good luck getting your mum or dad to let you go to parties after that.
Shame. Shame was what was written all over his face. He turned to walk away, as I heard the beep and the thunk of the door closing behind me, for what both of us hoped was the last time.
I’ll never forget that car trip back. The Ute was as it always was, clean enough, but with a lingering smell of the musted seats. But my dad, he was like I’d never seen him before. His stern face never moved, eyes always locked on the road. That silence said more than he could have thought to say in the past eight months.
When we got back to the house, dad got out, slammed the door shut and went inside, not caring if I was even alive. I followed him after a minute, and went to my old room.
Nothing in there had changed. The bed was still a mess, the clothes were still on the floor, and the curtains hung weirdly, as if not sure whether to stay up or come down. I knew not much of it would change. I just lay on the bed, with my hands under my head, and I stared at the ceiling.
I never could keep track of time when I was like that. But when I came back into reality, I heard the door shut, and the footsteps of two people entering the house. My dad must have left, and come back with Jamie.
I got up opened my room door. Jamie’s 14 year old eyes locked with mine. He just said, ‘Hey,’ and went to his room. I knew to let him be. I’d hurt him more than dad. He had to face everyone at school. He had to be known as the druggy criminal’s brother. He had to bear the shame.
I went back and lay on my bed, not wanting to think of what was going to happen when I saw dad again.
I looked at the clock, and saw it was about seven thirty. I got up, and went to Jamie’s room. I knocked on the door, and waited for an answer. After a minute, I heard ‘What?’ come from the room.
‘I just want to talk,’ I said.
‘Why?’ he said as if he had better things to do on a Wednesday night.
‘Can I just come in?’ I said irritated. I waited for a response. After another minute, he said ‘Whatever.’
I opened the door, and saw him sitting at the small table he used as a desk. He had a text book open, and looked as if he were going to start writing in an exercise book. On the previous page, I saw something written about a movie he must have been watching in class.
‘You know you’re about to do your maths in your English book, right?’
‘I know what I’m doing Tyler.’
I went over and sat on his bed.
‘So, how’s school going?’ I asked him, trying to do something to make up for what I’d done to him.
‘Yeah, alright I guess.’
‘Yeah? And how’s that model ship going?’
‘That was eight moths ago Tyler.’
‘Oh, yeah. Um, so you’re alright?’
‘What do you want? I have stuff to do.’
‘I just wanted to see how you were. I haven’t see you in ages.’
‘Well, I’m fine. Are we done?’ he said to me, like I was just bugging him or something.
‘Yeah, I guess.’ I got up and left Jamie to do whatever he was doing.
Dinner was awkward. No one talked. We just ate the mash and veggies that dad had made. It felt weird with dad being like this. I thought he would be angry at me, but nothing like this.
As soon as I was finished, I washed my dishes and when back to my room. I waited in my room, and listened as dad and Jamie turned off the lights, and went to bed. I got up, and slowly opened the room door. I peered out, and went to the front door. I opened it, and snuck out, trying not to let dad know I was gone.
The night was when I felt alive. It was the reason I never got smashed at night. Too much for me to miss out on. I walked up the driveway, and followed the road. I felt the wind blow against my face for the first time at night, in over eight months. This was true freedom.
Hearing a snap, I turned around to see what was there. I saw a kid slip behind a tree.
‘Jamie! What the hell are you doing?’
‘That’s what I was going to ask you,’ he said coming out from behind the trees.
‘So you’re following me?’ I ask accusingly.
‘I just didn’t want you doing anything stupid. You only got out today.’
‘Well thanks bro,’ I said sarcastically. ‘I was just going for a walk. The annoying thing is that I never got to go out at night.’
Jamie looked at me, like he was trying to make up his mind. More cars drove by, lighting us up with their headlights.
‘Fine,’ he said almost uncaringly. He turned to go back, when I said,
‘Come walk with me.’ He turned around almost confused. ‘It’s a nice night. Great for a walk,’ I said trying to convince him to spend some time with his brother.
After considering for a minute, he shrugged, and walked up to me. We walked in silence for a bit. I just admired the softness of the stars, as the cars came by. Even time doesn’t stop the traffic.
‘You never told me how that model went,’ I said to him.
‘I never finished it. It’s still in my room. I was waiting so you could help me, before you robbed the store.’ I didn’t know what to say, so we walked in silence for a bit.
We started to go round Carer’s Corner, when a thought came to mind.
‘I wonder if it’s still there,’ I said to myself. ‘Common, I want to show you something,’ I said to Jamie.
I walked half way across the road, waving to Jamie to come. He jogged half way up to me asking, ‘What it is?’ Right then, I saw the familiar lights of a car coming round the corner.
Realizing what was going to happen, I sprinted to Jamie, and pushed him to the side of the road. I heard him say ‘What the…’ as the car headlights lit me up, just meters in front of me.
At the speed the car was coming, I knew I couldn’t get out of the way. I brought my arms up to cover my face, and fell to the ground. Half way there, I felt a shuddering blow to my arms and back, with the sounds of screeching tires echoing my ears. I didn’t know what happened after that.
Slowly, I tried to open my eyes. All I saw was a blur of lights. I blinked a few times, and I started to make out the lights of the hospital, and my dad asleep on the chair next to me.
I tried to say something, but only felt a direness in my throat. I tried to swallow a few times, and started to cough, sending pain through my chest. Dad’s eyes opened suddenly to the noise, and I saw his tired red eyes.
He got up, and went to the door of the room, calling for a nurse. As he came back, I croaked, ‘How long have I been out?’ Dad said, ‘Almost five days.’ Not too surprised, I nodded my head, which sent more pain down my chest and back.
The nurse came in and smiled. ‘You don’t look too bad. How do you feel?’
‘Every time I move, I get pain through my chest,’ I replied.
‘That’s a good sign at this stage,’ she said with a smile. ‘Okay, can you just tense your hands for me? This will hurt a bit.’
I clenched my hands, and felt a pain right through my chest again. Groaning, she quickly said, ‘Good, thanks, that’s enough.’
Seeing you can do that, can you wriggle your toes for me?’ she said lifting up sheet at the end of the bed, letting him see his toes.
Trying to move my toes, I felt the almost familiar pain in my chest. Seeing them unmoved, I groaned in defeat.
‘It’s alright, take a moment and try again,’ she said a concerned. Determined, I tried to just move my foot. This time, without the pain, I looked to see.
Heart broken, I saw it still there, almost menacingly looking at me. As the nurse covered my feet again, I turned to my dad, and saw a tear roll out of his eye.
