Process

My mind,
It is conflicted.
I can't tell left from right.
And I need some time to process
what has been brought, recently, to light.

My thoughts,
They contradict my words.
I do not mean to scar.
My vision of you is suddenly changed.
I feel tainted and marred.

Closure is beautiful,
nothing can compare.
but I can't see in front of me,
this onslaught is too much to bare.

Too much is at stake.
I can't fix what is not broken.
Things will shatter, shred, and tear,
if i become too outspoken.

hi, this is beautiful!

originalhobbit wrote:My mind,
It is conflicted.
I can't tell left from right.
And I need some time to process,
what has been brought, recently,I'm not sure if you need those two commas, it sounds ok without them to light.

My thoughts,
they contradict my words.
I do not mean to scar.
My vision of you is suddenly changed.this line seems to long
I feel tainted and marred.

Closure is beautiful,
nothing can compare.
But I can't see in front of me,
this onslaught is too much to bare.

Too much is at stake.
I can't fix what is not broken.
Things will shatter, shred, and tear,
if I become too outspoken.

Nicely written. First off first, I refuse to read what others have posted on ANYONE'S work so if you read something that someone else put, sorry! (: Let's start with the body of this poem.

originalhobbit wrote:My mind,
It is conflicted. (Right here it would be good if you put 'My mind is conflicted.)
I can't tell left from right.
And I need some time to process
what has been brought, recently, to light.

My thoughts,
They contradict my words. (I like the use of words in this stanza the most.)
I do not mean to scar.
My vision of you is suddenly changed.
I feel tainted and marred.

Closure is beautiful,
nothing can compare.
but I can't see in front of me, (the B in but should be upper case.)
this onslaught is too much to bare.

Too much is at stake.
I can't fix what is not broken.
Things will shatter, shred, and tear,
if i become too outspoken.( the I after if should be upper cased as well.

All in all this is a very good poem, sorry to be picky on this. But I really liked it. Keep writing!

Hobbit,

So, I really, really liked this.
First off, it was very relatable, which is very beneficial to the reader, because it's one of the main reasons they keep reading.
And it gives off this tone of an underlying problem that makes you wonder what it is, and also sympathize with the speaker at the same time.
With that said, I would add on more to the ending, maybe tell the reader what's going on that's distressing the speaker so much.
All in all, very well written, good work.

Keep it up,
QL798