This World We So Love

Spoiler

Author: Lisa Cooper
Written: Saturday, March 29, 2008
Title: The World We So Love
--
So... Besides telling you that I wrote this on a whim one day, there's really nothing else I can say. So... Yeah. Any thoughts are welcome.

The tiger for strength,
The fox for cunning,
The owl for wisdom,
The snake for stealth,
The rabbit for innocence,
The wolf for beauty,
And the human,
For stupidity and,
Destruction.

These are the
Protectors,
The destroyers,
Of this world we
So love.

Oh so what shall
We, a race of
Stupidity and Genius,
Do to save this
World we so love?

Shall we eliminate
Them all? Oh but
That would not do.

Shall we leave them
And let it be? That is
An option, but not much
Preferable.

Ah do you see? Do you
See the light of God,
Shining in their eyes?

How can you, for all
That you are a Genius
Living in a pit of
Stupidity, be so cruel?

Was not the Lord Jesus
And his father the
Lord God, kind
Enough to put you here
On this Earth you so
Love?

Ah, do you not see,
That we are but mere
Pawns in the greatest
Chess game the world
Has ever been Host to?

Specks and dots we may be,
But we are just the beginning
Of a great, wonderful plan.

And so, though it may not
Be preferable, we as the ones
Our Lord God intended, must
Let live and be.

Do not act as Napoleon,
Alexander the Great,
Or even as Hitler. Why?
Because did you not see
What happened when they
Tried to gain World Power?

They were diminished to naught
But dust in the History of this
World we so love.

So here is the Last Message given
To me by the ancient Winds of
Wisdom:

"Live and let live. Give and you shall
Receive. Love and be loved by those
That love you. Respect and you shall
Be respected in turn. Do not buy one's
Friendship, let them befriend you of their
Own will. Curiosity is sometimes the
Only way to get one's information, but look
Again and you shall find what you have been
Searching for. When one door closes, another
Will always be open. When in doubt, look to
Your heart and the Lord for answers, not immorality."

Hi. I'm new on this site, and this is my first review, so sorry if it isn't the greatest.

This is really good. I liked the idea you had about it, and the way that you said it. I thought it was also really well written. The only thing is I think it might be a little long. It seems to go on for a while, and I think it might be a little better if it were a bit shorter. But other than that, it's really good.

That's all I really have to say other than I think it's really good.

You have a good idea here, but this poem didn't do it for me. Your enjambment didn't seem to serve a purpose and ended up making the poem choppy to a point where it was distracting.
Also, towards the end it became preachy, which is a huge turn off for most readers. Starting a line with "Do not" in a religious/moral poem should usually be avoided as it gives a command whether than offering an ideal.
I ended up feeling a disconnect in your depiction of humans. In the beginning you describe them as stupid and destructive but later they have "the light of god shining in their eyes". If you want to portray humans as a mix of good and bad, I would suggest showing both in your initial description.
I wasn't a fan of the inclusion of the final quotation, as it broke from the style of the poem itself and made the whole thing seem even more disconnected. If you cut it altogether, you would make your poem tighter and shorten it up so it wouldn't drag on so much.
I like your idea, and there's a lot you can do with it, but this poem needs some revision to reach its potential.