Iowa

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the black sky
seems very high above us.
nature rolls out in all directions
and the moisture
runs like tears down the glass.

the back seat
is wide and cold,
i curl my toes
inside my uggs
and press my forehead
against the window.

polka plays on the radio;
"well I haven't heard polka before
but I can tell you,
this is bad polka"
and a flick of the strong wrist,
reaching over from the passenger seat -
you've turned it off.

and the wince of pain
on her small, lined face
as the sound died.

the three of us
hurtling along
the black road
though the black night,
black fields stretching out,
black tractors littering the icy corn fields
like sleeping giants.

we breathe ghosts
that linger in the air -
hovering -
before melting,
fading.
"And Matt Muir. Matt Muir, he's the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It's like the first time I heard the Beatles" Superbad




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wow. beautiful imagery. the wince on her face, though - that sent shivers down my back. i don't know why. the quote was wonderful, true to life... a lot of black, but it worked well.

sorry for the crappy critique. beauty commonly leaves stunned spectators, so just be glad. :D
Carpe Diem.




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yes, stunned spectators of beauty - i would fall into that category right now. that's gorgeous; i love the way you didn't linger on her pain, just mentioned it, so that it stuck and didn't pull out again. amazing poem.
“It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.” - Lemony Snicket




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I normally don't comment on poetry, but I felt that this poem was particularily well done. It looks like it's been dug up from a while back, so I hope the author gets this comment. :D
Perception is everything.



There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.
— Lemony Snicket