Dragonflies
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending - Maria Robinson
18TH APRIL 1988, AGE 17
CHAPTER ONE:
I sat, surrounded by dancing autumn leaves. The wind every now and again would give them a little breath, which trickled coldness down my spine. The wildlife was moving around; little hares bouncing around, with their noises twitching and their ears moving at every sound the forest made.
Robins, with their little red bibs, sang songs, making the day seem brighter and happier.
“Madeline, Come over here!” Anthony called out to me. Anthony Devoy has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and my neighbor.
“Come on! Hurry up!” He shouted, to get me moving, “Don’t make me drag you over there”
“Alright, alright I’m coming.”
My nails brushed the tops of the golden leaves, as I stood up, holding on to the giant tree. A sharp pain came up from my feet to my knees; we had been walking in the forest for ages.
I twisted my body around, facing the direction where he stood. His face full of excitement as he stared at the ground, I ran towards him. My curls flew behind me.
“Look at this!” He exclaimed, while pointing at the ground. He looked at me, with his bright blue eyes, twinkling with enjoyment.
“What the hell is that suppose to be? There’s nothing there, you dick.” I raised my voice, my head boiled with frustration.
“You’re the dick, look closer. Can’t you see that little dragonfly there?” He pointed again at the ground. I bent down towards the ground, my eyes adjusted. Sure enough, there it was, a little red dragonfly, just hovering over the leaves.
“Oh my god, it’s so cute!” I squealed.
“I know right? Oh what time is it?”
“Um,” I glanced down at my watch “It’s two o’clock. Why?”
“I just wanted to know how many hours left we had. Only one hour is left.” He pulled a sad face, and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.
I reached out my hand, and pushed his shoulder. My legs sprinted off in the opposite direction.
“Shame loser, beat you can’t get me!”
“Ha! I doubt that, watch out missy, I’m coming to get you. “He replied, and started chasing me.
“No you’re not!” I screamed at him, causing me to run faster. His feet made crunching noises as he ran over leaves, he was close.
Trees, leaves and the surrounds all turned into a big blur, as my legs pushed on. A hand brushed against my back, but quickly disappeared, as I sped up.
“You know what you are? A loser”
“Oh, I’m so going to get you now.”
He started sprinting fast; I felt his breath on my neck, as he grabbed hold of my waist. My heart pounded inside my chest, and little butterflies fluttered inside my stomach. As he held on to me, we both had long stopped running.
I twisted to face him, and brushed a lock of hair out of my face.
“Told you so” He said cheekily, and poked his tongue out at me.
My hands went into fists, and I pounded them against his chest.
“Um, are you going to let go? Or do I have to punch you? Or I could kick you too, you pick!” I said snarky.
His eyes showed sadness; I’ve learnt to read his eyes, it took me a few years, but I go there. They also shone with regret, but mostly happiness.
“Sure, um, sorry about that.” He stumbled.
His arms loosed, and the smell of his aftershave fills the air. Every part inside of me seemed to slowly melt, like water dripping. I pulled away from him, and glanced back at him before I started walking again.
A stone pathway, beautifully made, was only about ten meters away from us. My body tingled from his hug, I wanted more. I love him so much, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. He doesn’t feel the same way, at lest I can’t tell that he does. Guys normally have little signs here and there, that gives you little pecks whether they like you or not.
But they all are just as confusing as each other. The really should come with an instruction manual. ‘How to understand the male species.’
“Madie, you’re daydreaming again.” Anthony taunted, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb your daydream of the guy you like. Which, by the way, you haven’t told me who it is, yet. I thought we had a ‘no secret’ rule. “
“Yeah well,” Oh god what do I say? “You don’t know them” I blurted out.
“Then all the more reason to tell me.”
“No all the less reason, it doesn’t matter. It’s no one.”
“Doesn’t sound like no one, come on tell me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t matter, Anthony just shut up.”
“Someone’s hiding something.” Anthony mumbled.
“I heard that. Oh and what was that English homework we had to do? I forgot.”
“Um, an essay on dreams, society or people.”
“Cool thanks, how many words?”
“One thousand, I think.”
“Have you done it?”
“Nah couldn’t be fucked” He said, then laughed.
“Wanna do it after with me?”
“Sure!”
We reached the path, I didn’t even notice walking.
“Um, Anthony?”
“Yes Madeline.”
“What way do we go?”
“Oh my god, we’re lost.” He put his hands to his lips.
“I’m just joking around, take a chill pill Madie. You’ve been different lately.”
“You’re a real dick, have you ever thought that that’s the reason why I’ve changed?”
It’s actually not that, it’s because I love you. I don’t want to lose you, and I’m scared. I just want you to hug me again, and tell me you love me. But I know you don’t feel that way.
So that’s why I’m not going to tell you, or to spoil our friendship.
I gave him a quick, reassuring, smile.
“Why don’t I believe that?”
“As I said before, it’s because you’re a stupid dick!” I said, as I pushed open the gate that lead out of the forest.
“I’m not a dick.”
The wind blew my hair forward, I attempted at pulling it back into a pony tail.
“You are, at times. But, you’re amazing, so it’s okay.” I told him, while fixing my curls into the hair tie.
“Thanks, Um, you need help with that?” He asked.
“Nah, I’ll be fine.” I said, as I finished tying my hair up, “Right let’s get home.”
It took us about half an hour, before we reached my door.
“You hungry? Because I’m starving.” I told him as I unlocked the door, my stomach gurgled at the same time.
“I can tell, yeah I am to, listen.”
Shortly after, his stomach rumbled.
“Okay then, Pizza?
“Yum!”
We both walked inside, and stood in the kitchen, I picked up the phone a dialed our favorite pizza house.
“Hello, can I help you?”
“Um, yes please. Can I get one large pepperoni pizza? Delivery please.”
“Yes sure, that’ll be twelve dollars thirty. Can I please get you’re address?”
“Sure, twenty five Sullies Road.”
“Okay thank you for the order, you’ll get you’re pizza in about twenty to thirty minutes.”
Okay, bye”
I set down the phone.
“He said about twenty minutes away. Hey can you get the money from the top draw, you know the one. I’m going to go to the bathroom, be right back. Don’t miss me too much.”
“Oh I won’t” He teased, with a wink.
The stairs creaked, as I stood on each separate one. My mind fluttered around different scenarios, all ending in him kissing me. And then holding me tightly, telling me that he loves me and never letting go.
Fantasies.
I’m always living in one big huge fantasy, and yet I keep allowing myself to. Even though I always end up hurt.
I pushed the bathroom door open. It squeaked, as the hinges moved. And the door swung open, the bathroom lit up the hallway. As it was surprisingly bright.
My hair brush sat on the clean white surface, of the cupboard. I picked it up, and softly ran it through my light brown curls, trying to make my hair seem not so much like I went through a bush backwards. Strands stood up, some stayed flat, but they majority went all fuzzy. It made me look like I had some sort of long afro.
Oh god, I can’t believe that my hair looks like this and to think Anthony saw it.
Mind you, he’s seen me at a lot worse of states. So he’ll be use to it.
I carefully placed down the brush and stared into my reflection in the mirror, my light brown eyes stared back at me.
This isn’t me, I thought to myself, that girl, isn’t me.
I continued staring at the stranger, who’s very pretty. It can’t be me, I’m not pretty.
“Madeline?” Anthony shouted up the stairs, I heard the steps make creaking noises under his feet.
“You alright, in there?” His voice trembled, clearly he was nervous.
A little tap came from the door, then it flung open.
“Oh god, Madie!” He said as he rushed to me, sitting on the floor in tears, balling my eyes out.
“It’s not me! It can’t be me!”
My mind got covered with memories, nightmares.
The stale smell of coffee came back into my mind, the room of light. Sirens going off, people yelling and screaming. Tears ran down people’s faces as they all stared at me, I looked down at my hands. They’re covered in red, what the hell? I thought.
My mind relized it wasn’t just anything that was red, it was blood. Worst of all, my own blood.
A voice came over me.“You’re having flash backs Madie, you’re fine. You’re with me.”
“No! It’s not fine!” I raised my voice at him, hysterically.
He rushed over and hugged me, his aftershave filled my senses again.
“You’re a strong girl Madeline, and I love you very much. You’ll be fine.” He said reassuringly.
I snuggled my head, deeper into his chest, and listened to his heartbeat. His strong arms wrapped around my weak body, that slowly relaxed and clamed down. My body seemed to slowly freeze in time, and I want it to always stay this way. But it won’t.
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