A Poetic Nightmare: Intro

This is the intro to a horror series I am starting. Sorry it is a bit short, but it is only the intro anyway. Tell me what you think.

A Poetic Nightmare: Intro

The mouth was drawn with crayon.

“Be quiet puppet, you’ll love me soon enough,” the mouth said.

The eyes were beads. They watched me. They hated me.

A scream echoed across the stage. It was my scream.

The strings burned, like thin strands of fire glued to my skin. Why couldn’t I seem to move? My master moved towards me with palpable grace, his bare feet barely touching the ground. I didn’t want to kiss him. I didn’t love him. But I could never stop him.

His cold lips pressed against mine and then he withdrew with a laugh. I don’t know why he kissed me. He hates me.

“Your play, my puppet, is a tragedy. I admit it was poorly scripted and somethings things just don’t add up, but all in all, hearts will be broken and blood will be spilt. “

My eyes were bulging, but my scream was silent this time.

“But you're the star.” He paused briefly to collect his thoughts. “You have always been the star. But in this particular play,” he began again faster, “the hero is just the less sadistic villain. And you, my puppet, can chose how it all ends!”

I stared blankly. The beads met my gaze and softened.

“Oh, don’t worry, you find out how it all works soon enough. I just wanted to warn you. Don’t want you going crazy on me, now do I?”

His laugh was the last thing I heard.

Rebel

Hi. There's a real tension throughout the story which i like.
When you say 'The mouth was drawn with crayon' is this a metaphor or literal? If it's a metaphor it doesn't make that much sense, i suppose the person could have a thin lipped mouth, but it's a bit nonsensical.
If it's literal it still doesn't make sense. Is the master a drawing? If so what the hell is going on? It's not really clear.
Umm, it is short, so i don't really get an image of the characters in my mind when i read it.
There's very little description. This can be a good thing, if description is kept minimal it forces the reader to use their imagination, but you don't even have a simple description of the setting. All i know is that there's a stage and someone tied up. The rest is blank.
Saying that, there is a lot of potential in the story. Why is the person tied up? Who is he/she? Who is the master? Why are they on a stage? I think if you work these aspects into the story, and add a little more description, it could be really good.

that was the exact reaction I wanted

Two nitpicks:

Rebel wrote:“Your play, my puppet, is a tragedy. I admit it was poorly scripted and somethings things This didn't make sense to me. just don’t add up, but all in all, hearts will be broken and blood will be spilt.

Rebel wrote:“But you're the star.” He paused briefly to collect his thoughts. “You have always been the star. But in this particular play,” he began again faster, “the hero is just the less sadistic villain. And you, my puppet, can chose You mean to say 'choose'.how it all ends!”

Because this is an intro and so short I didn't expect there to be a lot of description, but some more would be nice. You don't actually have to describe the people themselves, like what they look like. But, if you gave some description of sound it would add a lot to this. I also think you should describe what they are doing. What little motions are they making? Besides the kiss did they do anything else? Rub their hands together? This would give us the insight that it was cold. Little actions can make it a lot easier for a person to think of a place. You don't have to have a paragraph of description to describe something like some people think, a sentence here and there would do.

A. S.