The Yellow Leaf

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 790
Reviews 59
(( Was on the bus today and I looked out of the corner of my eye to see something(s) very yellow, and found it to be leaves on a tree, lol. How wonderful. They were yellow, then I got thinking on that song called, "Yellow" by Coldplay, which I want to listen to now that I'm talking about it. But anyway, I decided I was going to write a poem about a yellow leaf, and so here it is! ^~^ ))

The yellow leaf
got October’s call,
and cleared its throat
to make the fall.

It crinkled its body
one more time,
and to the clouds
it made the climb.

One by one
it cut each hair
of wood that lay
so sadly bare.

In the parting
the tree did mark
the leaf with its
sweet-sap bark.

Then the wind
pulled it tighter,
and the leaf
became much lighter.

It made peace
with old-June,
but wished it hadn’t
left so soon.

Down it came
like crinkling snow,
the deepest cold
it would never know.

It hummed goodbye-
though the song was brief-
and that was the life of
the yellow leaf.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Got Support~?
viewgroup.php?f=336




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 4908
Reviews 165
Hi Hibiscus,

Firstly, this is an amazing poem! I don't really have much bad things to say, so I'll spill the good stuff. It seems like a lengthy poem when you look at it, but it doesn't go on for too long and it's fun to read. I love the rhyming scheme, the rhyming in this is perfect. You also got the timing right as well. There wasn't a line too long or too short, I think. Because of the great rhyming and the timing, the poem flowed really well, and was simple to read.

It was a really enjoyable and great poem! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1214
Reviews 9
Hi, Hibiscus! I totally agree with red leaf. This was a really good poem! There wasn't much to say bad about it. And it was fun to read. Good job!!
Happiness is a JOURNEY not a place. :D



Poems were like people. Some people you got right off the bat. Some people you just don't get - and never would get.
— Benjamin Alire Saenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe