A Telegram

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This looks a lot cooler on Word; I have it in Courier New so it actually kind of looks like a telegram...but I'm too technologically challenged to figure out how to do that when posting online!

STOP
in the name of peace, the name of life,
the interest of ending world hunger and poverty and war,
clean air and water,
higher wages, better working conditions, equality
and all that crap
STOP
for that woman you love,
that guy you hate,
that snotty kid who annoys you,
that irascible old man whom you annoy,
that dog that just ran out in front of your car,
that spider whose web you just destroyed,
that mouse caught in your trap,
that person gazing at you from the wrong side of the bathroom mirror
STOP
drinking, smoking, getting high, losing your mind, forgetting yourself,
blowing up at everyone who means something to you just because you’ve got issues,
cutting, sleeping, thinking of running away, getting wasted,
insulting that cashier at the grocery store
because her scanner broke and kept you waiting at the register for half an hour
STOP
passing yourself off as someone you’re not,
following the crowd just because it’s easy,
telling yourself you failed because you were born a second-rate loser
and there’s nothing you can do about it
STOP
just to look at the stars, to take a walk on the beach,
to hold someone’s hand,
to blow bubbles, to laugh, to remember,
to see a play, to read a novel, to hear a poem,
to solve an algebra problem,
to learn guitar, to apologize, just
STOP for a second,
and quit worrying about the cross-traffic,
the people without red lights or stop signs,
rushing through life
as if whoever finishes it first wins a cash prize
instead of a funeral,
just STOP
and let me tell you how great you are already,
how much better you could be
if you just took the time
to
STOP




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BlueAfrica wrote:This looks a lot cooler on Word; I have it in Courier New so it actually kind of looks like a telegram...but I'm too technologically challenged to figure out how to do that when posting online!

STOP
in the name of peace, the name of life, Is this the same thing? The other lines you seem to have separated ideas by having a new line which makes it seem as if you are cramming peace and life together. Personally I find those very different things, but you can take it how you please.
the interest of ending world hunger and poverty and war,
clean air and water, Ha! So true. We need more of that these days.
higher wages, better working conditions, equality
and all that crap This makes it seem like the rest of the stuff you are talking about is negative: "crap" has a connotation of something foul.
STOP
for that woman you love, One good thing to stop for, the rest bad. Any reason?
that guy you hate,
that snotty kid who annoys you,
that irascible old man whom you annoy,
that dog that just ran out in front of your car,
that spider whose web you just destroyed,
that mouse caught in your trap,
that person gazing at you from the wrong side of the bathroom mirror Contrasting idea here since that person in the mirror happens to be you. Now you're saying be self-centered?
STOP
drinking, smoking, getting high, losing your mind, forgetting yourself,
blowing up at everyone who means something to you just because you’ve got issues,
cutting, sleeping, thinking of running away, getting wasted,
insulting that cashier at the grocery store
because her scanner broke and kept you waiting at the register for half an hour
STOP
passing yourself off as someone you’re not,
following the crowd just because it’s easy,
telling yourself you failed because you were born a second-rate loser
and there’s nothing you can do about it
STOP
just to look at the stars, to take a walk on the beach,
to hold someone’s hand,
to blow bubbles, to laugh, to remember,
to see a play, to read a novel, to hear a poem,
to solve an algebra problem,
to learn guitar, to apologize, just
STOP for a second,
and quit worrying about the cross-traffic,
the people without red lights or stop signs, I like this comparison here--indeed it seems we hardly pay attention to people who don't make us do just that.
rushing through life
as if whoever finishes it first wins a cash prize
instead of a funeral,
just STOP
and let me tell you how great you are already,
how much better you could be
if you just took the time
to
STOP Explain this--why do I want to stop? You just told me a whole bunch of things I should stop for or stop doing... but I could use a bit more incentive. How are you convincing me to stop shouting at people?


I love the idea of using a telegram to communicate the STOP part of the poem but I have to wonder--what is the significance of linking this poem to the likes of a telegram? Is it the lack of communication that suggests or is something else? If you have a gem of an idea like this, it should have a point. I should not spend the time reading this thing wondering where the relevance of a telegram comes into play.




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This is a cool poem!
I like the idea, but I agree with the previous comment that, apart from the periodical 'STOP,' there are no telegram connotations. The poem still works well, but it does seem a pointless title; at the moment 'Speechifying' might be a better title, since this can easily read like a passionate speech. The line breaks were great, imho. As far as changing font here, I think that's not possible (although you can attach a picture showing the file to give the reader an idea of what you meant). ^^

Nice piece, keep writing!
Formerly 'ilyaeelz.' Others experiment with drugs. I experiment with punctuation and grammar.

"Research your own experiences for the truth, absorb what is useful, reject what is useless, add what is specifically your own." - Bruce Lee




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Thanks for your comments!

In the line about stopping for the person staring at you from the wrong side of the bathroom mirror - I was trying to say that you have to love yourself, not that you have to be self-centered, lol. The person being spoken TO (the one who needs to stop) is an alcoholic/druggie, so the speaker is saying (among other things) that he needs to cut that crap and do more for himself. Is there a way I could make that clearer?



It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language
— Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey