tears

Tears tears
tears of blood
dirt water
silt mud
things alike
things the same
things different
things that come with pain

asweeney1919 wrote:Tears tears
tears of blood
dirt water
silt mud
things alike
things the same
things different
things that come with pain

wow...uuummmmmmm....good??? bad???? how the flip do u get silt?!

i think its a good poem overall

Very well done. You might want to capatalize more words, though...

This is kind of repetitive, you might want to change that up. and give it a story or something more interesting.

umm Aj i think you might have to go see a Doc. because when you say tears of blood i think you might have something wrong with you. lol jk i liked it over all but one thing i need to ask you.....Am i the dirt water?? lol hahahahahahaha like it keep up the good work.

Hey asweeney1919,

I really liked this poem. I wrote a poem very similar so it is great to find someone who writes poetry like me!! It was short sharp, simple and to the point which for me makes a good poem.

I liked it a lot- well done and keep writing.

Although try and expand on your ideas

Hi asweeney1919,
not to shabby of a poem, i gotta say, it has some very sad meaning with it. Not to criticize but i recommend on capping at the start of each new line
"Tears of blood
Dirt water
Silt mud
Things alike
Things the samethings
Different
Things that come with pain"
But other then that, was not to shabby. =P keep writing!

Short simple. All these things cause tears, tears are ussually brought to the eyes because of pain. I loved this poem, I love how short it is, and how it cuts to the point. Very nice. I love it. Very very good job. Keep writing. (:


- Maddieee

Hey asweeney1919, CaptianRandom.

THIS POEM WAS GOOD! i really enjoyed how it flowed. I ALSO LOVE YOUR PIC!!! I wouldn't have change anything.
Keep up the good work, i hope to read more of your work. perry the platypus

-CaptianRandom
-Many crystals with many emotions