Before I Died

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I am buried as you cry
You think I hated you, but it was a lie
I always loved you and you never knew

Before I died I wanted to tell you
But this is what came to my mind
You never loved me, Just desperate
And lonely but now I see the truth
and wish i could have seen it sooner

But now as I look down on you
I wish I could have told you but
it's too late
I tore your heart out and threw it away
Last edited by soulidium on Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:18 am, edited 2 times in total.




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Gender Female
Points 1626
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It's interesting- YOu had a lot of simple spelling and grammar mistakes though-you might want to reread it and fix those.
Light one candle instead of cursing the darkness.




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Gender Female
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soulidium wrote:I am buried as you cry
You think I hated you, but it was a lie
I always loved you and you never knew

Before I died I wanted to tell you
But this is what came to my mind
You never loved me, Just desperate
And lonely but now I see the truth
and wish i could have seen it sooner

But now as I look down on you
I wish I could have told you but
it's too late
I tore your heart out and threw it away


I have tried to fix your spelling mistakes etc in red
I'm a bit confused by this poem and I'm not really sure what it's about so I can't really make any comments about how you could improve it because I'm sure you know what you are trying to communicate.

Good luck,
Emalily
If I die young
bury me in satin
lay me down on a bed of roses
sink me in the river, at dawn
send me away with the words of a love song
<3



I just write poetry to throw my mean callous heartless exterior into sharp relief. I’m going to throw you off the ship anyway.
— Vogon Captain (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)