My Hypothesis

im sorry it's really long, and im not sure if it will make sense to anyone besides myself; feedback would be lovely
My Hypothesis:


I like to push. Over beyond the horizon,
I imagine what it could be like
when the horizon disappears and there is nothing and everything
will there be anything at all?
I hope not.
Every step, every time I push father.
Endure more.
It brings me closer. To the horizon.
but i never really get, closer
just understand, more.
I like to know..
What we have, what I have created. Forced.
Its like a friendship, there is no goal.
No aim, just company
And with every epic journey
We become familiar.
I learn the taste, it makes me hungry.
More?
It knows me, lures me.
This friend of mine, ancient.
perceived as cold.
But the company warms me.
Comforts me in a way no other can.
You know my friend. Do you?
You fear it.
his ancient mysteries beyond you
Can’t you see its beauty?
Can’t you feel the relief?
coming ever closer.
It takes from me, he needs to.
It survives though i can not
His presence leaves scars upon my wrists.
Upon my soul, upon my heart.
Will he miss me? I wonder.
An ongoing flirtatious battle
Thrives within me
He takes my commitment
Though i have not offered it to him
It strengthens the bond we share
You share it too
But you hate it
Fear it.
Run from it.
But you cannot escape him.
He knows you
Through me he understands you.
He does not understand me,
But all the same he takes and I take
i take, what he never new was a gift.
It is his curse, designed to demand his loneliness
What was not meant to be a gift
I take it, savour it.
I like the taste
I understand it, it is easy. simple.
I like that.
Its monotonal flesh is easy under foot
There is nothing more to understand.
This confuses you.
Why?
You expect; but you shouldn’t
You are comfortable with confusion
Content to be lost in it.
Simplicity makes you uncomfortable
Grow up.
You will understand.

LRA wrote:I like to push. Over beyond the horizon,
I imagine what it could be like
when the horizon disappears and there is nothing and everything
will there be anything at all? This line kind of seems quirky and full of contradictions next to the one before it.
I hope not.
Every step, every time I push father.
Endure more.
It brings me closer. To the horizon.
but i never really get, closer Should be a comma after 'but', should be capital 'i', this comma is unneeded. Also, because you said 'closer' in the line before it I would use a more descriptive word, and I think you should add something like the word 'though' to the end of this line.
just understand, more. Hmmm 'I' at the beginning of this would make it make more sense, if you take into account the line before it. Now it kind of seems detached.
I like to know..
What we have, what I have created. Forced.
Its like a friendship, there is no goal. O.K., this sounds like a contradiction to me, before you kind of stated that your goal was to get over the horizon.
No aim, just company
And with every epic journey
We become familiar.
I learn the taste, it makes me hungry.
More?
It knows me, lures me.
This friend of mine, ancient.
perceived as cold.
But, the company warms me. I added a comma.
Comforts me in a way no other can.
You know my friend. Do you?
You fear it.
his ancient mysteries beyond you You have an unneeded space at the beginning of this line XD
Can’t you see its beauty?
Can’t you feel the relief? These two lines were awesome in my opinion.
coming ever closer.
It takes from me, he needs to. O.K., this is the first time it is a 'he' either call him that from the beginning or take this out, because this way it sounds bad. When introducing a character you use the characters name from the beginning.
It survives though i can not Should be capitalized 'i', 'can not' is one word.
His presence leaves scars upon my wrists.
Upon my soul, upon my heart.
Will he miss me? I wonder.
An ongoing flirtatious battle
Thrives within me
He takes my commitment
Though i have not offered it to him Should be capitalized 'i'. Also, for rhythms sake I would take off the 'to him' at the end of this line because it is already implied.
It strengthens the bond we share
You share it too
But you hate it
Fear it.
Run from it.
But you cannot escape him.
He knows you
Through me he understands you.
He does not understand me,
But, all the same he takes and I take comma added.
i take, what he never new was a gift. Should be capitalized 'i', 'new' should be knew as in "I know two different languages" instead of "I got a new bike for my birthday"
It is his curse, designed to demand his loneliness
What was not meant to be a gift
I take it, savour it. Should be savor
I like the taste
I understand it, it is easy. simple.
I like that.
Its monotonal flesh is easy under foot That isn't a word, but I am not sure what you meant to say so I cant correct it..

O.K. this poem is a bit of a rambler and I am not sure of its meaning, so I really can't give you a good review on it. One thing I noticed is the beginning of line capitalization. Some of the lines were capitalized some weren't, but I couldn't find a pattern to it. Do you have one?

Hope I helped,

A. S.