The Laughing Bridge (Decisions)

Here the bridge stands awaiting your decision
Its sight mysterious at your envision
And as you read this calm incision
Knowledge you add to your provision.
Here there is no supervision
Only fear of indecision
And don’t forget to make no misprision
Or failure to complete precision.
Here you’ll witness simple revision
The goal of earning its derision
For the choice stands in complete vision;
Be free, perhaps, or remain in this prison?

Very interesting use of rhyme, but restricting. If you were able to get what you wanted across, then great!

Hey!

I really liked the rhyme, the subject matter, all around it was a good piece. Only nitpick I have is that one of your lines is awkward---the one with misprision. I know what the word means, it just sounds off when you plug in the meaning. "Don't forget to make no misunderstanding?" That's a very roundabout statement, and could confuse people.

Keep Writing!

---Spork

I know this was posted awhile ago but I really wanted to read some of your works and I found this one the most intriguing. Very good scheme and pattern, I liked the symmetry though it does falter at some points. The subejct matter kept me interested and wanting more. Very well written, I loved it! ^_^

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thats a verry intresting poem, love all the ryming words, and the way it makes sence and dosent at the same time<3