The ICT crowd

Sitting here in the ICT suite of our school. The boys around playing Age or Empires, I was annoyed that they wouldn't let me play, the sexist freaks... So I wrote a small poem about it, or at least some of it, with a few of my old ideas thrown in.

I can't think. I just... can't think.
Not because
I'm asleep, but
Because
The boys around me are
Shouting.
"Yes yes!" "No no!" "Not enough food!"
You could
Think
That Age of Empires was part of their real lives.
But if you
Ask them
They simply smile and play with your hair.
Even though they
Know
That I have a boyfriend That's my que to slap them *giggle*
I guess that the
Bofs (clever people)
Just find it fun to flirt with 'cool' boy's girlfriends.
But they're my best friends
So I
Have
To forgive them.
Forgive them for everything.
Well, not Gabriel.
He has a crush on the guy next to me. >.<

That was ...interesting. The main issue that popped out at me was how you jumped around a lot in your ideas. For example, the *giggle* and the (clever people) and >.< just come out of nowhere. You also jump around with pronouns/person, most noticeably with "They simply smile and play with your hair. / Even though they / Know / That I have a boyfriend". You switch from the poem from first person, then second, then back first person. It is confusing.

The other issue that caught my eye was how choppy your poem was, especially at the beginning, due to the line breaks. Line breaks result in a brief pause as your reader's eyes move to the next line, but even though the pause is brief, it is still a pause, and having too many of them so close together just makes reading feel jerky. Like this. Sentence. Does when punctuated. Like this.

Flow is important to a poem, and without a good flow, poems really aren't that pleasant to read. One way of making sure your poem flows well is to read it aloud yourself, or ask someone else to read it aloud to you; if still reads smoothly, then good, but if not, try and pinpoint where and why it sounds off and fix it.

I will say that you had a couple of pretty interesting ideas here, such as the "not because I'm asleep" line and introducing Gabriel at the end. I do think though that this poem could use more streamlining though, and nixing the "That's my cue to slap them *giggle*" part and the >.< would be a good start. Streamlining the poem will make it easier to follow and not leave your reader going "...what was that/why is this here?"