Not A Fairytale.

4 posts
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Gender None specified
Points 1040
Reviews 23
Catching eyes from across the room
I stop and stare;
The pen falling from my hand.
I hadn't know a thing about love
About life;
About you until then.

Your smile grabbed my attention,
But it was your eyes that snagged my heart.
I could smile
I mean, really smile because of you.
I hadn't any real reason before now
But you give me all I could ever want.

I always wanted love, the fairytale romance
But you're far from a fairytale.
Did Cinderella stop to think whether her Prince was married first?
Not even the ring on your finger stops me;
It's the illegality of the action.
As well as the pain it'll cause you.

I was lost in a sea of tears
I was indeed drowning if you hadn't thrown the life vest.
My heart is yours;
And yours will never be mine.
I ache at the though,
Yet I am also relieved.
Ghosts always float through your mind; but they stay longer than necessary. Like my thoughts.




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Gender None specified
Points 300
Reviews 0
That's amazing you capture the way a girl yearn to love someone she can't so well <3




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Gender Female
Points 1059
Reviews 7
Good, the first stanza I think it should be known not know. Well written but you could use some similies or metaphors to better capture the moments you "share" with this man/woman.
"The path of the righteous shines brighter and brighter until the perfect day."
~Proverbs 4:18




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1092
Reviews 8
Catching eyes from across the room
I stop and stare;
The pen falling from my hand.
I hadn't know a thing about love
About life;
About you until then.

Your smile grabbed my attention,
But it was your eyes that snagged my heart.
I could smile
I mean, really smile because of you.
I hadn't any real reason before now
But you give me all I could ever want.

I always wanted love, the fairytale romance
But you're far from a fairytale.
Did Cinderella stop to think whether her Prince was married first?
Not even the ring on your finger stops me;
It's the illegality of the action.
As well as the pain it'll cause you.

I was lost in a sea of tears
I was indeed drowning if you hadn't thrown the life vest.
My heart is yours;
And yours will never be mine.
I ache at the though,
Yet I am also relieved

nice....
try rhyming a bit more..
.
:)
TheGummyBearEater



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