Always and Forever

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It was warm but breezy as I walked down my driveway. The relief from the sweltering heat signaled the beginning of fall, the season of death. Already leaves had fallen on the asphalt and crunched under my feet as I walked, and at every gust of wind they were blown around and went skittering in all directions. I watched them as I walked, and listened to the quiet, clattering music they made as they danced, then, as the wind quieted, fell together and lay in a pile.

I wrapped my jacket more tightly around me, keeping my head bowed as I got closer to the road. There was barely any traffic at that time of night, but still I peered out past the overgrown rosebushes and forsythia to check for cars. The light of the full moon illuminated the road all the way down to the fork and made the houses alongside it look pale and ghostly. My street looked like another world at night; not a soul breathed or moved except for feral cats and other silent creatures of the dark.

I took another breath and scurried across the road, my footsteps too loud in the silence. As I reached the other side, I found myself panting, not in exertion but in fear, and, as I clutched a tree for support, I scanned my surroundings wildly, expecting to see either a neighbor’s raised eyebrows or a dark stranger wearing a ski mask.

“Grace.”

I whipped around and saw Robby sitting on a tombstone, little Robby who I trick-or-treated with in elementary school, but now he looked more like the big Robby I went to senior prom with. He was lean and muscular, just like he was in high school, but now his dark hair was shorter. I couldn’t see them from so far away, but my imagination showed me the playful sparkle of his blue eyes. He smiled and I could almost see the gleam of his teeth.

I started as I realized how long I had been staring at him and smiled in embarrassment. I took a few crunchy steps toward him and he did the same, and we met in clear spot where the moonlight found its way through the trees and cast a deathly pallor on our faces. He looked older, and sadder. The harshness of life must have finally caught up with him.

I reached out and touched Robby’s face and felt the light coat of stubble on his cheek. He put his hand over mine and leaned into it, smiling faintly as he looked at me, his gaze darting over my face as he tried to read my expression. I just leaned close and closed my eyes, and then he was kissing me. His lips moved on mine and it felt just as good as I remembered, and his hands were at my waist and in my hair, pulling me close and holding me, then I was wrapped in his arms and snuggling into his shoulder and crying.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“I missed you so much,” I whispered back, the tears coming in full force now. But they weren’t the relieved and happy tears that came when everything was going to be alright. No, these were the sad and frustrated tears of loving something but not being able to have it.

“I missed you too,” he said. With a final gentle squeeze he released me and used the soft pad of his thumb to wipe the moisture from my cheeks. “But everything’s going to be okay now. We can finally be together.”

“No we can’t,” I whispered in a shaky voice. I could feel my eyes getting wet again. “I have a family to think about. My husband, and my little boy…Little Ben needs a family to grow up in…”

“You’ve said that to me before, don’t you remember? But Ben is all grown up now so you don’t need to protect him any more. He’ll do just fine without you.” Robby held my face in his hands, gently brushing away all of the new tears. His voice became hushed. “Do you remember the last time you saw me?”

“Of course I do,” I answered, “it was during the summer after graduation, right before—” No. That wasn’t right. Robby was still holding my face and studying it, and as I watched him watching me, I remembered.

“You moved into the house across the street.” It was half question, half statement. Robby nodded. “And we…” I lost myself in the memory of sneaking out in the middle of the night with only the moon lighting my path. Robby was there in the cemetery waiting for me. He smiled at me and I smiled back, and, with only that small signal, we tiptoed together to his house and through the back door. I remembered the warmth of his body all around mine and how he looked so peaceful when he slept.

And the last time I saw him…I was yelling. My husband found out, and poor little Ben, he would have to grow up with divorced parents. Robby was backing away from me as we fought, heading toward the safe haven of his home across the road. I was saying how much I hated him and how I never wanted to see him again, and there was the blaring of a car horn as it came around that bend too fast, and Robby turned his head a second too late.

My eyes were brimming with tears again as I came back to the present. Robby was smiling, his eyes a little wet, too. “You remember.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” he replied simply.

“Are you a ghost?” I asked. “How are you here?”

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said simply. “I knew when it was your time you would come back here, so I’ve just been sitting here, waiting.”

“My…time?” I didn’t look at him. “So does that mean—”

“Come see for yourself.” He walked over to the tombstone he had been sitting on and I lagged behind. Leaves crackled angrily under my feet and the wind breathed ominously. Robby was smiling as I stood beside him and saw my tombstone for the first time. “Grace Ann Keller. Born October 27, 1987. Died October 5, 2052.”

I gasped and leaned against Robby for support. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead. “You had a good life,” he told me. “You did everything you ever wanted to do. You might not remember now, but you will eventually.”

I was barely listening to him. My mind was still processing the sudden turn of events, its wheels turning slowly but surely. Suddenly, it dawned upon me: I was done. There was no need for worry or anxiety because my life was over. There was nothing left to have stress about, nothing left to even think about. It was only me and Robby now, forever.
I turned to the tombstone beside mine. “Robert Collin Edwards. Born July 23, 1986. Died October 24, 2017.”

“You waited a long time for me,” I whispered.

“It was worth it,” he whispered back.

I reached up for another long kiss, then pulled away. With a smile, I said, “I can’t remember yet, how did our son turn out?”

“Ben is perfect,” Robby said with a smile. He kissed me again, and I thought again of how it would be me and him, forever. Because some people are just meant to be together.
If you fail to practice your art, it will soon disappear ~ German saying.

Some people just deserve to get tazed ~ Andy




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Hello. I'm here to review your lovely story!

Amylith wrote:It was warm but breezy What was warm and breezy exactly? as I walked down my driveway. The relief from the sweltering heat signaled the beginning of fall, the season of death. Already leaves had fallen on the asphalt and crunched under my feet as I walked, and at every gust of wind they were blown around and went skittering in all directions. I watched them as I walked, and listened to the quiet, clattering music they made as they danced, then, as the wind quieted, fell together and lay in a pile. I loved the description here.

I wrapped my jacket more tightly around me, keeping my head bowed as I got closer to the road. There was barely any traffic at that time of night, but still I peered out past the overgrown rosebushes and forsythia to check for cars. The light of the full moon illuminated the road all the way down to the fork and made the houses alongside it look pale and ghostly. My street looked like another world at night; not a soul breathed or moved except for feral cats and other silent creatures of the dark.

I took another breath and scurried across the road, my footsteps too loud in the silence. As I reached the other side, I found myself panting, not in exertion but in fear, and, as I clutched a tree for support, I scanned my surroundings wildly, expecting to see either a neighbor’s raised eyebrows or a dark stranger wearing a ski mask.

“Grace.”

I whipped around and saw Robby sitting on a tombstone, little Robby who I trick-or-treated with in elementary school, but now he looked more like the big Robby I went to senior prom with. He was lean and muscular, just like he was in high school, but now his dark hair was shorter. I couldn’t see them from so far away, but my imagination showed me the playful sparkle of his blue eyes. He smiled and I could almost see the gleam of his teeth.

I started as I realized how long I had been staring at him and smiled in embarrassment. I took a few crunchy steps toward him and he did the same, and we met in clear spot where the moonlight found its way through the trees and cast a deathly pallor on our faces. He looked older, and sadder. The harshness of life must have finally caught up with him.

I reached out and touched Robby’s face and felt the light coat of stubble on his cheek. He put his hand over mine and leaned into it, smiling faintly as he looked at me, his gaze darting over my face as he tried to read my expression. I just leaned close and closed my eyes, and then he was kissing me. His lips moved on mine and it felt just as good as I remembered, and his hands were at my waist and in my hair, pulling me close and holding me, then I was wrapped in his arms and snuggling into his shoulder and crying.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“I missed you so much,” I whispered back, the tears coming in full force now. But they weren’t the relieved and happy tears that came when everything was going to be alright. No, these were the sad and frustrated tears of loving something but not being able to have it.

“I missed you too,” he said. With a final gentle squeeze he released me and used the soft pad of his thumb to wipe the moisture from my cheeks. “But everything’s going to be okay now. We can finally be together.”

“No we can’t,” I whispered in a shaky voice. I could feel my eyes getting wet again. “I have a family to think about. My husband, and my little boy…Little Ben needs a family to grow up in…”

“You’ve said that to me before, don’t you remember? But Ben is all grown up now so you don’t need to protect him any more. He’ll do just fine without you.” Robby held my face in his hands, gently brushing away all of the new tears. His voice became hushed. “Do you remember the last time you saw me?”

“Of course I do,” I answered, “it was during the summer after graduation, right before—” No. That wasn’t right. Robby was still holding my face and studying it, and as I watched him watching me, I remembered.

“You moved into the house across the street.” It was half question, half statement. Robby nodded. “And we…” I lost myself in the memory of sneaking out in the middle of the night with only the moon lighting my path. Robby was there in the cemetery waiting for me. He smiled at me and I smiled back, and, with only that small signal, we tiptoed together to his house and through the back door. I remembered the warmth of his body all around mine and how he looked so peaceful when he slept.

And the last time I saw him…I was yelling. My husband found out, and poor little Ben, he would have to grow up with divorced parents. Robby was backing away from me as we fought, heading toward the safe haven of his home across the road. I was saying how much I hated him and how I never wanted to see him again, and there was the blaring of a car horn as it came around that bend too fast, and Robby turned his head a second too late.

My eyes were brimming with tears again as I came back to the present. Robby was smiling, his eyes a little wet, too. “You remember.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” he replied simply.

“Are you a ghost?” I asked. “How are you here?”

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said simply. “I knew when it was your time you would come back here, so I’ve just been sitting here, waiting.”

“My…time?” I didn’t look at him. “So does that mean—”

“Come see for yourself.” He walked over to the tombstone he had been sitting on and I lagged behind. Leaves crackled angrily under my feet and the wind breathed ominously. Robby was smiling as I stood beside him and saw my tombstone for the first time. “Grace Ann Keller. Born October 27, 1987. Died October 5, 2052.”
I gasped and leaned against Robby for support. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead. “You had a good life,” he told me. “You did everything you ever wanted to do. You might not remember now, but you will eventually.”

I was barely listening to him. My mind was still processing the sudden turn of events, its wheels turning slowly but surely. Suddenly, it dawned upon me: I was done. There was no need for worry or anxiety because my life was over. There was nothing left to have stress about, nothing left to even think about. It was only me and Robby now, forever.
I turned to the tombstone beside mine. “Robert Collin Edwards. Born July 23, 1986. Died October 24, 2017.”

“You waited a long time for me,” I whispered.

“It was worth it,” he whispered back.

I reached up for another long kiss, then pulled away. With a smile, I said, “I can’t remember yet, how did our son turn out?”

“Ben is perfect,” Robby said with a smile. He kissed me again, and I thought again of how it would be me and him, forever. Because some people are just meant to be together.


The rest is great! I loved the ending!
Keep Writing!
Nike :)
"If I look like a monster,' he says roughly, 'then no one will be surprised when I do monstrous things." - A.B. Poranek




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Hey, I've been searching for something to review and feel this could really improve from a few tweaks. I have to say though, this is my favourite story I have read on this site so far.

Most of your paragraphs start with ‘I verb’. I took, I started, I wrapped, I reached, I whipped. A little variation can go a long way.

signaled – signalled

It was warm but breezy – I’m not sure if you have or haven’t, but using weather in stories is a good place to put in a little symbolism. ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ usually suggests all it not well. Using the same example, I would advise against talking about the weather. Does it add anything to your story? An opening line should really hook your readers in, and being a little unique can also help. Unless it’s symbolic in some way, I would suggest changing your opening. Saying more with less words is a good objective to use when improving, and if it doesn’t add to the piece then chuck it.
The relief from the sweltering heat the beginning of fall – Reread this. I’m not sure if it just slipped by unnoticed, but it doesn’t make sense.

You also have a lengthy description of leaves. As beautiful as it is, the same rule applies. If it doesn’t add to the piece, then chuck it. So far you’ve shown me you can write but nothing has happened to grab my attention. Where does the story really start?

Forsythia – Always be a little dubious about using specific plants without giving more information on them. While as you may be a florist, or have spent time delicately picking out that flower that sits in your imagination from the internet, you’re readers haven’t. Being specific is sometimes a nice touch, so maybe just say the ‘golden forsythia’ for those who may be less aware of such things. Then they can at least picture a golden flower, which may also be symbolic for things to come along with giving a strong colour for even a botanist to feel.
more tightly – tighter. As more smoothly – smoother

and other silent creatures of the dark. – lovely description btw. I would personally drop the ‘other’, or else it sounds like you could think of another creature to describe. ‘Feral cats and, you know, other creatures and what not.’ Of course I’m exaggerating there but that’s what I felt from ‘other’ despite your lovely description.

too loud – for what? I know what you mean but there’s a bit of information missing. Let me know if you don’t know where I’m coming form so I can explain further, and that goes for every point.
I started as – If you delete this, then it improves the flow.

And the last time I saw him…I was yelling. – An ellipsis is more than an extended pause. It’s there to make the reader reconsider their last comment as the author is being suggestive. Right here it would more appropriate to use ‘-‘, which is more of an ‘add an extra slightly disjointed fact to the mix’ type of punctuation.

Brilliant ending, and truly the best writing I have seen on this site so far. As you can see I’ve only reviewed 4 pieces so far and skipped over another 10, but nevertheless. Good luck with your writing and I hoped this helped.
It's hard to find angels in hell...
...aqui en la oscuridad se quien soy.




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I loved it! Its so emotional , i think i feel tears coming *sniffs*

~Book Person~
I won't run when the sky turns to flame
and I sure won't budge when the earth does shake
when the flood comes up, I will dance in the rain
'cause it's all the same to me




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Hey.

I liked this story a lot. I loved the twist at the end! Keep up with the good work!


-Charlotte Grace-
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




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Amazing story, great twist at the end. I really liked it and can't wait until you finish your next story, I'm sure it'll be just as good if not better. :)


~Devon.
"Life cannot give you serenity, but by the same token it cannot take it away."




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I liked it. It was brilliant. Clever. And it had a unique twist to it that I totally wasn't expecting.
Please take care to use good grammar when making a post!

"grammer" 1519 matches on YWS *twitches*

Rydia is the ruler of the world. :(




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Unexpected twist at the end I didnt expect and I liked that.
jenn
when you grow up you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair and isnt wearing a black cape and easy to spot Lots of Love Jenn




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This story is beautiful! I could see everything in my mind as I read it. I love your word choice! (:
As far as grammar, you were lacking a few commas in places they needed to be, but I only noticed it about two times.
I hope you plan to keep this story going; I could see it being very wonderful.




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I really like it i felt like i related to the characters a lot and I really want to see what happens.




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Hey there! This is probably the 12th time I've read your story before I commented on it. I love, love, love this story! It has such great raw emotion and I could feel everything you were trying to say. I hope to read more of your writing soon!
~Luxy :-)
...or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it?
Fear makes the wolf seem bigger.
I got attacked by a swan.




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I LOVE IT! That was one of the best romantic short stories I've read in a long time! I especially liked how you didnt reveal that she was dead until the end. All in all, reading this made my day.
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince




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I LOVE IT! That was one of the best romantic short stories I've read in a long time! I especially liked how you didnt reveal that she was dead until the end. All in all, reading this made my day.
“wanting what you could not have led to misery and madness”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince




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Wow. this was wonderful. It's a really sweet story, very full of emotions. I loved the relationship and chemistry between the two characters, and the way you slowly led up to the point where we find out she's really dead, and they can be together again. This is really great, speaks to emotions and thoughts this way. I love the whole ghost/afterlife thing you pulled off so well.




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Wow, that was absolutely beautiful! I loved your style and descriptions. They made it very easy to visualize what was happening. The twist at the ending was superb! Although, I wasn't sure I understand the dynamic of the relationship during her memory of the last time she saw him. Was she already married when he moved into the house across the street?



Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that which is taken to be true. It's the currency of living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?
— Player (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard)