Golden girl.

kakagirl wrote:There she go's
The golden girl
The one, my lover's holding
She twists her hair,
and lets him know
she's got no better place to go. 'Go' was in the first line and now it bothers me here because it was repeated. Especially because it was repeated for a rhyme.
He pulls her up,
and tells her straight.
It can't go on between them.
She looks at him and shakes her head
and tells him no,loves never dead. This line was slightly awkward to me. I think it would be better, our loves or their loves. Because who thinks love is never dead?

There she goes,
The golden girl,
The one, my lover's holding. How is the MC's lover holding the golden girl if "there she goes"? And if he's with the golden girl, then how is he the MC's lover?
She twists her hair
and lets him know
she's got no better place to go.
He pulls her up
and tells her straight
it can't go on between them.
She looks at him and shakes her head
and tells him no,-space here-loves never dead. You can either put this in quotes (because she's saying it) or you can just capitalize the N of "no."
He walks away without a glance.
Goodbye to Misses Fancy Pants! Misses should be either Miss or Mrs. or Missus.
He walks my way;
I hang my head
to hide my smiling face.
I realize his hands in mine
And suddenly I'm lost in time.
He's kissing me
no better world. I don't get what you're trying to say here.
Now lets see who's golden girl!

kakagirl wrote:There she goes
The golden girl
The one, my lover's holding
She twists her hair
and lets him knoq
she's got no better place to go.
He pulls her up
and tells her straight
it can't go on between them.
She looks at him and shakes her head
and tells him no, love's never dead.
He walks away without a glance
Goodbye to Misses fancy pants!
He walks my way
I hang my head
to hide my smiling face
I realize his hands in mine
And suddenly i'm lost in time.
He's kissing me
no better world.
Now lets see who'sthe? Do you want a the in there? golden girl!