Echo

* I wrote this last year but it seemed a bit short when I posted it. I tried to write another verse but I couldn't so...*


A single drop of water,
sea shell by the beach
The ends of the earth,
where echoes never reach.
I wonder what happens,
when the world is asleep
In the land of Nowhere,
where echoes never reach.


All reviews welcome! Thanks!

I really like this- it's simple, but conveys a lot. The only nitpick I have is that the repetition of "reach" really bothers me. You could get away with it normally, but in such a short piece, it uses up too much. Other than that though, I really liked it.
Nice job. c:

-Coral-

I liked this; the fact that it was short and simple didn't effect the subtle impact it had, I actually didn't mind the fact that the last line was a repeat of another, because it gave it some repetition that strengthened rhythm and came back to the focus of the idea. Of course, because it's so short there isn't much to pick on, so nice job.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Heya

I'm actually happy that you don't have another stanza to this. I personally prefer short and sweet poems rather than long, overly descriptive ones. Besides, this poem works really well with just a simple little stanza, in my opinion.

Red = Cut something out
Blue = Add something in or I've edited something

A single drop of water,
a sea shell by the beach.
The ends of the earth,
where echoes never reach.
I wonder what happens,
when the world is asleep,
in the land of Nowhere,
where echoes never reach.

Overall

This will probably be a short review, sorry xD I'm not the best poetry critique and this piece as a whole is rather short, so I don't really have all that much to say. Like I said before, I liked this poem because it was short, simple and sweet. I like how you included a nice amount of imagery in such a small poem and I thought that overall, the piece flowed nicely. It was nice to see that the rhyming in this wasn't at all forced, and seemed natural and easy to read. You had a few small grammatical errors, but nothing major at all, if I'm honest. Your vocabulary was simple, but I thought that it suited the poem perfectly.

The only negative thing I have to say about this is about the last line of the poem. It's just that it seems a tad bit repetitive. StoryWeaver said that the repetition wasn't distracting or anything, which shows that it's a matter of opinion thing, I think. As for me, I understand that it was meant to kind of tie in with the other line, but I wasn't overly keen on it. The ending of a poem is important and I simply feel that you could have played around with it a bit more to make it as effective as it could have possibly been. Even if you just edit a few words and keep the sentence on the same track, but make it sound a bit different, it would look and sound better. I'm not sure if I'm making sense here, but I hope I am! I think you understand what I'm trying to say.

Sorry this review was rather... pointless. I just don't really have anything else to say! I'll hopefully be able to give you more of a useful, helpful review next time.

Keep writing,

xoxo Skins

You know what is really funny about this poem? Even though it is so short it could be broken up into two stanzas. Actually now that I think about it, it might be better that way. But that is just my opinion. Like this:

Iiscraftywriter wrote:A single drop of water,
A sea shell by the beach
The ends of the earth,
Where echoes never reach.

I wonder what happens,
When the world is asleep
In the land of Nowhere,
Where echoes never reach.

Something I noticed is that in the first three lines you capitalized the beginnings, but after that you only did it sometimes. I changed that. Sorry, if you did it for a specific reason I just didn't' catch. I guess that is the only thing I can find annoying about the poem, besides what the other people have said. I agree with story weaver:

StoryWeaver13 wrote:I liked this; the fact that it was short and simple didn't effect the subtle impact it had, I actually didn't mind the fact that the last line was a repeat of another, because it gave it some repetition that strengthened rhythm and came back to the focus of the idea. Of course, because it's so short there isn't much to pick on, so nice job.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

A. S.

That, my friend, was absolutly wonderful. Short, but wonderful. You could make it abit longer, and then... WOW. I agree with Calligraphy, and Story Weaver13. Although light does not reach the corners of the room, we are unafraid and trust them. But when the light is put out, and we are alone but with the corners we can trust, thus we must be unafraid. Light is our insparation, even when we cannot see. I say, Power to the pen, or pencil. Keep writing. Potental has thus grabbed your hand and taken you for a spin. (I know im quirky and odd, but do not strive to be perfect. see my poem 'Fate knows no personality' for more on that subject.)Write on...

Weird is good Twiggers! Thanks for all your reviews I appreciate it to all measures!

Is there supposed to be a solid deeper meaning? Because I can see a few ways someone would take it. I like it, but I think you could continue that into another stanza. Great idea, though.

i really liked the poem.
1. some rhymes were very good.
2. it is short but it still is able to convey so much
3. i think a longer poem wouldn't have hurt
it was a really great and creative poem
keep writing!

it is a good poem.i like the rhyming.short and simple can be good at times.

I thought this was a cute poem, I didn't really mind the shortness. My only problem with is some of the lines don't seem to fit right. They seem too short, and they don't really flow with the rest of the poem. I would advise not to repeat a rhyme (Reach) in the future, but for some reason it wasn't too bad in this one. Trust me, I know what it feels like not to have a word that rhymes (this is sakuragirl1 by the way) and it's not fun. So I don't think you need to change this one, but try and keep away from repeating words like that in the future. Bye