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Hatched Chapter One

jDawn · 2010-10-05T20:11:31Z

Hey everybody! First of all, feel free to rip this apart. : ) I'm working on adding lenth and it's going into extreme editing so I'll have the revision replacing this soon. I'll try and get a few more chapters up before NaNo but if I don't I'll continue in December. Anyway, thanks for stopping by to read Hatched Chapter One and enjoy! Also, I was bored so I made a page for Hatched if anyones interested- http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/page.php?id=730 Edit: I posted the revision: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic70899.html Hatched The egg was cracking, my tiny figure emerging from the egg filled with a milkey white substance. My eyes barely opened into slits and I could barely make out a man hovering over me with a hand lens. " Dr. Preston!" the man exclaimed, though he didn't take his eyes off me. Dr. Preston, a gray haired man in a white lab coat hurried over to me. " Holy cow!" Mr. Hanna, get me a pair of gloves," Dr. Preston beamed. He leaned down in front of my face as he lifted me up in his hands. I was just the size of both his hands, maybe a little bigger. " I think I'll name you Cas." So, I was born. I've lived in The Factory for sixteen years. I wasn't exactly normal, nobody here was. We aren't birds. Ha, not even close. We're better. We could bleed until we had no blood left, be in excruciating pain, but still live. We could punch somebody so hard there would be an indent of their face. We weren't humans, we were hatched. Then there's the Poison Ones, all starting with Sean and Helena. Instead of white eggs they were black and instead of the thick white substance inside they're was a thin velvet red substance, like blood. They were bad eggs. They'd always been against the factory, I guess it was almost natural. They started an army, a rebellion, when they were both fourteen. Hatching eggs of their own. It kept going until they out numbered us. Far away, hidden from the factory they were, and we just about forgot them. Nobody has heard from them since, until last night that is. Because last night Helena returned to The Factory. * * * Thunder clapped in the dark sky as I peered out the window of my dorm. I heard a knock at my door and I opened it even though it was after curfew. My friend Finley was standing there, his brown hair wild and his Factory sweat shirt thrown on insideout. He walked in and shut the door. His eyes were gloomy and he looked like he might have been a little scared, too. "Helena's back," he announced. I was caught off guard, and I didn't believe him. There's no way she's back, and how would Finley know if she was? I stammered, " That can't be. How do you know that?" Finley frowned as if he didn't know himself then took a deep breath. " I saw her in the library, but I don't think she saw me." I put my hand over my mouth, he was telling the truth. I could tell, and anyway Finley's my best friend. " Are you sure it was her?" I questioned, and Finley nodded. " Was Sean or the others with her?" I asked and he silently shook his head. "No, I think she was looking for something here though," he said. A piercing scream rang out from down the hall, and we reconized it immediatly. Bast, Finley's thirteen year old sister. I took off down the hall after Finley, ignoring shouts from the staff and wandering people. It hit me, Finley was heading towards the library. Where Helena is.

jDawn

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Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:13 pm

jDawn says... · Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:13 pm

Thanks, and yes I posted the revison!

"They can put me in prison but they can't stop my face from breakin' out."

" A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight."

-Adam Young, My Hero <3

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I'll admit the two turtle doves are growing on me, but there are ten birds in this house already and we both know geese are feathered bioweapons of mass destruction.
— Silvern

Hatched Chapter One

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