september sky overhead my skylight daydreams drift away on the string of a single green balloon
I think lots of short poems (including published ones) are hard to relate to because of their length. But in this poem, the reader gets a solid image that creates feeling and there's something happening, too. So, that's about all I have to say. But if you want, this poem could be expanded with the ideas you have here because that would make a great longer poem. Good job and keep writing!
Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot
"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."