Notes: This was part of a short story series I was working on. I was planning on having a bunch of writing, all following a similar story line and plot. what I got, however, was a lot of snippets and sections which don't connect or relate in any way. They were, however, fun to write.
Also, Chae is short for Michaela and is pronounced there as: "Kay"
She clutched the hammer tightly as she lugged herself across the grass. It had been a long day and she was on her way back to the garden shed.
The sun beat down on her dark hair, causing her to walk faster, which exhausted her even more.
It was quiet as she stopped, thinking she had heard a voice, when a boy with semi-short black hair sprinted past her, knocking her to the ground.
"Hey!"
He stopped as the cold voice called after him, sending a slight shiver down his back, even in the autumn heat.
"I'd stop to chat but-"
"But nothing," she spat, dusting herself off and heading towards the boy.
He glanced over her shoulder. spying the two husky boys, their fists clenched.
She, too, then turned to see the boys and as they approached her, she turned, sending a warning glance at the shorter youth as he made an attempt to run.
"Can I help you two with something?" she asked, swinging the large, rusted hammer upwards and allowing it to rest in both of her hands.
"Yeah, that twerp right there behind you?" the taller said, pointing a beefy finger at the younger.
"What about him?"
"Just let us have him." he continued, trying to push the girl from his path.
"This?" She turned, pointing with her thumb at the black haired boy. "This-this right here?"
Her ears shot up as she head him whisper something. Chae then raised her hammer to the taller boy's stomach, poking him slightly.
"Tell you what; You guys head back to your dorms and I'll pumble him instead."
The two grinned at each other. As they walked away, she could hear them laugh and snicker.
She then turned her attention to the grinning boy, whose expression change drastically as her hands tightened around the hammer.
"Ah, crap." And he was off running, Chae close behind.
She chased him into the boy's dorm, weaving through hallways. People stopped to observe the tiring boy as he sprinted up the stairs.
"Come back here you little bastard!" she called after him just as they ran past Rev.
His head shot up from the math book him and his friend were leaned over as the two passed, Chea's venomous voice ringing through the hall.
He grinned sheepishly, closing the book and handing it to his friend.
"Would you excuse me for one moment?" And he was off running as well.
The boy tripped, rolling onto his back and pushing himself away with his hands until he came into contact with the trophy case. She towered over him, bringing the hammer back, but was stopped, as she couldn't pull it forward.
"Chae, release," the voice was calm and quiet, causing her elbows to drop.
"Chae," it warned again.
After a moment, he allowed the hammer to fall to her side. She glared down at the terrified boy before throwing it at his gut, the impact causing him to choke slightly.
"The hell was that about?"
Chae turned to face Rev, her bangs in front of her eyes. "Nothing."
"It sure as hell didn't look like nothing to me!" he stepped around her, bringing the breathless boy to his feet.
"What did you do?"
"What did I do? she's the one that came after me!"
Chae shot him another icy glare before Rev led her off towards his dorm, leaving the poor child to run crying to his room.
There's not much here but I'm hoping you will elaborate on it in the next posts. The only thing, as mentioned above, that was bugging me was the violent act this girl was about to commit? Does she have a violent past? Is she the tough one? Or is there an ulterior reason for this 'beating'? If yes, you might want to mention it with more descriptions because, I have to admit, I'm a bit shocked with this. We don't know a lot about what's happening exactly. That's the only thing that I have to say 
) the reader gets thrown into the action straight away without any introduction, and so at the moment this is very confusing. It certaintly has a lot of potential but if you want to use this as the beginning of the novel, it's best to have just enough mysteries and things that people don't yet understand so that the reader is intruiged and wants to read on, but not so much that it's difficult to figure out what on earth is going on. And, from a first reading, that's the way I felt. I'm gonna go through this and point out the things you need to change because I think once this is cleared up it'll be massively improved. 