Mother's Day Poem

This is just a little Mother's Day poem I wrote in 6th grade...Enjoy

When I was born there was love
Mom looked like an angel sent from above
She has been there all my life
And she is with me today
Mom, the person I would never give away

Well, this is short so there isn't much to review. The rhyming and rhythm is good as far as I can tell. There are no grammar errors or anything. The only thing that struck me as odd is the second line. Do you actually remember she looked like an angel? Even if you do remember she probably didn't look an angel. But, I think you should say something, she must have.... or another phrase like it. The last line also kind of struck me as odd. Is she the only person you wouldn't give away? I know you didn't say that, but it is implied.

I think you should work on the title. Yes, it helps me know what the poem is going to be about, but unless I was specifically looking for a Mother's Day poem it probably wouldn't catch my eye. I only read it because this had zero comments. It is also not very personal. Try to make it that way. Try to make it your own.

A. S.

Thanks for the review, I don't really write poetry, but I was thinking about the poem I wrote and I just thought I'd post it for fun.

You don't even want to know how awful I was at writing in the sixth grade. It was disastrous. And this is super duper adorable.
Love the little rhyming scheme, and even though it's short, I bet your mother was honored to get it.
Nice job. c:

-Coral-

I think that it was sweet. Sometimes short and sweet is awesome. As long as you're writing what you feel, I don't think it has to be 3 pages long.

It was for a Why my mom deserves a diamond contest and I wrote a poem in the third grade and won her a red African gem that she put into a necklace. And I won the same thing again so she didn't get it . I was hoping I would get her the diamond but I guess someone else wrote a better poem than me .

It's good but sorry to say this. It's kind of a little too short.

Aspiring Author here-

I thought that poem was very touching. You did an excellent job of demonstrating how dramatic poetry can be used in an emotional way. I (And other readers included) can feel the emotion flowing from this poem. It was very sweet! On the other hand, the transition was very nice and you did an excellent job of making the words flow. The poem shows you have an admirable vocabulary as well! Great job! Keep on writing, you have a talent!

I would have made it longer but the contest only let you use 25 words The one I entered was a little shorter but I gave the poem to my mom and made it a little longer.

The last line really makes the poem complete, I think. That's awesome!! It'd be really cool if you made it longer, I think as well. But it's your poem, so it's entirely up to you.

Thanks, I don't generally like do poetry, but I think I will elaborate in this

Hiii again! D'aaaaaaaaawwwwww... This poem made me feel happy-funny inside!! I love it, MissDotz. It reminds me of a song my siblings and I wrote when we were little... Okay, a question now... Have you ever wrote any poetry/poems besides this?