On Writer's Block and Errant PCs

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NOTE: I'm not sure where to dump post this so I am entrusting this in Mr. Benjamin Linus' care. Pavlov didn't ring a bell? Oh well. . . Meh. :P


LET'S FACE IT. Writer's block is here to stay. There is really nothing we can do to dump it off permanently. On second thought, maybe we can. But first, somebody (preferably a genius) needs to discover a way to convert it into tangible matter. Having accomplished that, eliminating it would be fairly easy. The next time North Korea decide to launch rockets indiscriminately, we can just ask them (politely of course) to strap that converted mass into one of their missiles' nuclear warhead. Then they can blast it off to kingdom come, for all I care. The target doesn't matter; they're used to having their own way anyway. UN might be a-screamin' and a-thumpin' with rage but at least, writers all over the world will definitely be a-jumpin' and a-cheerin' and a-dancin' and a-singin'.

But I digress.

I was having a bad---no, terrible---day yesterday. And yes, that great canker in our midst, Mr. Writersblock himself, was mostly to blame. I was supposed to write the first draft of the first chapter of my first novel project but I found out I could not. I tried practically everything (from playing a Vivaldi music on the background to dancing Macarena with my feet in the air) to help me awaken my hypersomniac muse but to no avail. She just slumbered on, leaving me alone and trembling in front of a daunting sea of whiteness, its vast expanse blemished only by a single dot and an eternally annoying and blinking cursor. To add to my misery, my errant PC acted up on me and suddenly decided to shit---I mean, shut---itself down without getting the clearance first, so to speak.

Being the daydreamer that I am, my mind slowly conjured up a scene related to the incident above:

TIME: exactly 3 minutes and 23 seconds before the above incident.


LOCATION: a small square room devoid of any aesthetic decorations. Cheap second-hand paperbacks and used clothes are artfully strewn across the floor.

CHARACTERS: ME, a heretofore unknown writer genius; PC, a battered computer with an independent streak


ACT I, SCENE 1

Writer genius is sitting on a wooden chair facing a slightly battered desktop computer laid on an equally battered computer table. Writer has been sitting there for nearly an hour doing nothing


PC: You're creeping me out, dude. According to my built-in clock, you've been sitting there for 46 minutes, 35 seconds and 21 nanoseconds and all you do is stare at me blankly.

ME: ...

PC: Are you high or somethin'?

ME: ...

*monitor shakes itself sideways*

PC: Tsk, Tsk. Darn, you're pretty stoned, huh?

ME: ...

PC: Right. I'm getting the shakes now. I'm out!

*One short bleep and monitor goes black*

ME: ...


Another short bleep ended my reverie. It also signaled my errant PC's resurrection.

I hastily opened up Word again a few minutes later. I breathed a long and deep sigh. Luckily for me, my PC's uncalled-for behavior did not ruin my manuscript; MS Word's auto-save function had kicked in and saved the day. My manuscript was intact. The single dot was still there.
Love your enemies, just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.




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Hi there, PadrePio! I'm SporkPunk and I'll review this today.

Grammar:
I could find nothing inherently wrong with the piece, so good there. All the tenses, the spelling, even the subject-verb agreement is correct.
I tried really, really hard to find something to nitpick. But I can't find it. Oh well, the next reviewer will probably find something I might have forgotten about.

Subject Matter:
I truly liked it. The offbeat manner worked, and the bit with the play made me laugh. I think this is overall very unique, and well executed.

I'm sorry I can't give a better review, but this was all around great!

Keep Writing!

~Sporks
Grasped by the throat, grasped by the throat. That's how I feel about love. That it's not worth it.

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This peice was really witty and interesting. There are just a couple of things that you may or may not want to change. The first one, and the one that I am least certain needs to be changed is that the part where you talk about North Korea and the whole rocket business... it drags on a bit. I think that if you were to get rid of the second and third to last sentences, (and even maybe the last one as funny as it is), the peice will flow better. I'm also not crazy about how you refer to writer's block as "Mr. Writer's Block". Since you already talked about trying to turn it into a form of concrete mass, I feel like personifying it may not be the best idea. But then again, that may just be me. I am also slightly confused about the dot on the screen. It makes for a hilarious ending, but why is it there? Why would you start your writing project with a period? I may not be the best with grammar, but doesn't a sentence normally END with one of those? (Sorry bout the caps but I'm on quick reply and it won't let me italisize) Jumping to the dialogue, I would delete the "darn" in the sentence, "Tsk, Tsk. Darn you're pretty stoned..." Its repetitive. I would also delete the second to last sentence of the entire peice because it is repetitive as well. Also, it would lessten the number of times you say "manuscript" in a row. That's all I can think of, and a lot of it was pretty subjective, so great job! I really liked the tone and wording of the peice. Good thing you got writer's block or else none of this would have been written. Maybe we shouldn't send it off to whoknowswhere just yet. :D
Write on!




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Thank you both for your interesting insights on my piece. :)
Love your enemies, just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.



People with writer's blocks should get together and build a castle.
— Love