This was just a short story (which isn't that short) that I wrote for fun. (Or what I call fun) It's my style of writing, so I hope it's not too bad. Warning: Rated 18+ for good reason.
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‘I need a way out,’ he whispered into the phone. ‘I need a way to get out.’
‘I can try,’ replied the voice on the other side. Those three words sent a warmth through him, which almost made him forget about the rain falling on the glass of the phone booth he was in.
With his hands pulled into his sleeves and hooded head staring at the floor, like it was his only link to the world, he forgot about what he was doing and started home.
This was his happy. This state of knowing nothing, and caring about less. It was simple. It was calming. But it never lasted.
Snapping back into the world of reality, he jogged the other half of the road he was on. Maybe getting hit by a car wasn’t the best thing to do on a cold and wet day. It would be his last pinch of misery, in his recipe for life.
Pulling his keys out, he unlocked the front door. He shook himself of water just inside, and ran up the stairs to his room yelling, ‘Hey mum!’ Her ‘How are you?’ was greeted by the shutting of his room door. These days, she didn’t even expect an answer. She was just happy he was home tonight.
Pulling off his bag, he chucked it in the corner of his room. Still shivering from the cold, he pulled off his hood, sank into his table chair, and booted up his old desktop computer.
Typing away, he messaged, Hey Kat. Whats up? I guess ur training was cancled.
Little messaging dot appeared saying, Kat is typing...
Yeh. I guess im the only 1 who likes the rain. But im gona kill marcus soon.
A small grin came to his face. Kat always made him smile. She was the only one that could.
oh, thnx 4 the present. It was relly nice.
no probs. it is ur bday. He replied with his thoughts going to the sliver necklace he gave her.
have to get some wrk done. See u tomoz. Kat typed.
yeh. see u then.
He didn’t get it. No one did. He was so different to Kat, with her netball and having lots of friends. He had no one except his mum and her, who had been his best friend since forever. He knew they were the only two people who would leave him to be who he was. And that would probably be why he let them be part of who he was.
He put in his iPod headphones and started on his History report. It was most likely the only time he and the world had anything to do with each other.
The alarm rang, and he got up, once again, to face another day. He winced at the light seeping in through the curtains of the window. He pulled on a shirt, jeans and a jumper, and went down the stairs and out the door. He nodded to Mrs Johnson across the street, and like most mornings headed down to the milk bar.
Grabbing his daily bag of chips, he asked to make a call. He dialled a number, and said four words. ‘I have a way.’ Then he hung up and left.
He grabbed a bus, and took a seat.
A single drop of water clear,
Has found a way to be my lure.
I follow wherever it goes,
For the water is what I need to survive.
He kept a scrap book with him in his bag. Whenever, he just pulled it out, and wrote random things like this. On the previous page, he’d drawn a bird in flight and a bowl of vegetables. He just liked doing things a little differently.
He didn’t let anyone see the book. No one but Kat. Kat was different. She didn’t judge him, but just admired in a silent way. She was awesome that way. But only with him. She acted in a different way around him than with her friends. She would always know what he needed. She almost felt like a story book character. But she was his lifeline.
He nodded to the bus driver and got off. The bus was his place of lonely comfort. He always felt a little left behind when he stepped off.
‘One week more,’ Kat said with a mournful tone while stuffing books back into her locker. ‘Yeah, only one week… Why do you have to go?’ he said with a sigh.
‘You know why. My dad is moving back up north, and where he goes, I have to follow.’
‘But you didn’t go with him the other times he left for work.’
‘Yeah, but those times, he was only gone for up to a week. Now he’s going for at least three and a half months. I need someone to stay with.’
‘Then come stay with me. We have the spare room from where my bro stayed before he moved out.’
‘But once again, I can’t do that to your mum. She barely copes with feeding you, let alone herself.’
‘But I can get a job-’
‘We’ve been through this. The answer is still no. I’ll be back soon. You can live without me for that long, can’t you?’
Kat closed her locker after a final touch to the photo of her mum and her as a kid, and the one with the words, in memory of Sarah Greyson
‘I’m not sure I can…’ he whispered to himself.
The bell rang for the end of day, and he headed out with Kat. They grabbed some food from the corner restaurant, then headed back to Kat’s place, which was only a five minute walk away.
‘I’m gonna miss you, you know,’ he said.
‘Yeah, I’ll miss you too. It’s kinda why we’re friends,’ she said in a joking way.
‘You have no idea…’ he whispered to himself.
Kat shoved open the house door. It always shifted when it rained. They took in the smell of the slowly musting sofa and the sight of the mirror, that seemed not to show just you on the outside, but on the inside too. He didn’t know why nothing felt more welcoming, except the sight of Kat, and the blackness that you saw before you fell asleep.
They went to Kat’s room, and she as usual, sat with her feet tucked under herself on the bed. He put his bag down, sat softly on her desk chair, and pulled out his scrap book. This was his favourite place to write. Just looking at her, made the words flow free. It was his freedom. His way of expressing himself. This so simple sight was his inspiration.
Her soft blue eyes
Were peace to the war.
No wonder they fought
For this magnificent Queen.
His phone rang, and he stepped out to answer it. ‘It’s ready. I just need the message,’ said a voice from the other side. They continued, ‘You have five days.’ He was then greeted by the soft beep of the disconnected line.
The next three days, he spent most of his time, either with Kat, or with his head in his scrap book, trying to find the right words. He lost all interest with class, and the only thing that brought him out of his writing trance, was the yell of the teacher telling him to focus. But in two minutes, he was stuck back in it. He was like a man possessed. But he needed to find the words which were somewhere in his mind.
The slam of the locker brought him back into reality. ‘What’s with you today?’ Kat asked. ‘You’re more out of it than usual. And that’s saying something.’ He smirked at that. Kat always made him smile. Maybe she was more than what he thought a friend. Maybe…
‘You coming to mine tonight?’
‘What!? Oh yeah. Sure. I’ll meet you there.’
‘Hey. Can I talk to you then?’ he asked nervously.
‘Um, sure. Why not?’
‘Great. See you there.’
‘You’ve been acting weird for the past few days. What’s up?’ Kat asked him in a calming way.
‘Nothing. I’m fine…’ Kat left him after he said that. She didn’t press him. She knew that doing that made him back away more, and if he wanted to tell her something, he would. She trusted him. Maybe even more than that. Maybe…
Kat looked over at him on the bed, and sat next to him, to look at what he was drawing in his book. She was startled at what she saw. He was drawing her. It was just her sitting on the chair across from where he was. She didn’t even know he could draw so well. Underneath it, it said,
The war raged on
To fight for the honour,
Just to save
Their beautiful Queen.
He watched closely, to see Kat’s reaction. He was startled when he found himself looking at her closed eyes, and her lips on his. He felt her pull away, and saw her blush bright red.
‘I’m sorry. I-’
He leant back in and kissed her, cutting off whatever she was going to say. Kat gently pulled away, and got up. She went to the door with a disappointed look on his face. He was surprised when she closed it.
Leaving was awkward. He wasn’t sure what to do. Neither was Kat. They had been friends for ages, and now they had gone so much further. He wasn’t sure if he should just say goodbye, or do something more.
He saw she was falling asleep, so he kissed her on the head, and left a note say he’ll see her tomorrow. Then he quietly slipped out and headed home.
He woke to the annoying sound of his alarm. He turned it off, and crossed off another day on his calendar. Two days. Two day until Kat left for three and a half months. He pulled himself out of bed, just with the thoughts of seeing Kat at school. Maybe for one of the last times.
School finished in two months, and then he would head off to university. He didn’t know what would happen then. He didn’t even know if he would get good enough grades to get into the course he wanted. But he didn’t really care. He might not go to uni.
At school, he went to the bench where he always met up with Kat. He saw her there, and thought she was even more beautiful than ever. He started smiling. She always made him smile.
Kat looked up when she heard him coming. She grinned too. She grabbed her stuff, and as usual, headed to their lockers together. ‘I wish I didn’t have to go…’ He gave Kat a look that almost said, ‘You know you don’t have to.’ It might have been because of that, but she lean in and kissed him.
He was a little startled, but it still made him kind of happy. ‘There might not be time to do that in a few days. I… I don’t know how to say this. I found out last night, after you left, that my dad needs to stay on a little longer than we first thought.’
‘How long is a little longer?’
‘Um… about… about a year,’ she said sheepishly.
‘A year!’ he whispered, shocked. He wasn’t a person who yelled. He didn’t like the attention. But when he whispered, it was like someone was screaming in your head. It made Kat look away sheepishly. The bell rang, and they headed off to class together. He knew he couldn’t change what was going to happen.
Gossip in the school spread like wild fire. By the time he and Kat got to first period class, most of the year knew what others thought had happened between them. They at least knew that the two of them were together. But that didn’t concern them. They just let the day roll it’s slightly depressing way. Maybe that’s why they ended up making out in the music rooms. But no matter what, they still knew Kat was leaving in two days, and he spent more time then ever writing in his book. Words that not even Kat saw.
‘I have the message. You can get it tonight.’
‘Okay. But you can’t change your mind now. Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay.’ Then the line when dead again.
Kat sat next to him and peered at what he had been doing on her bed again. He had finished the drawing of her, and the shaded background made it look like she was the only thing in the world. Well, at least in his world. Maybe she was, he thought. He was the only thing she was thinking about then.
Kat laid her head on his lap, and he gently stroked her head and face. He felt like a feather in a soft wind slowly drifting down. He bent over and lay his lips on her temple.
‘I wish I didn’t have to go.’
‘You need someone there to look after you.’
‘You could look after me.’
‘You need someone responsible.’
‘How more responsible can you get then you?’ He started running his fingers through her delicate brown hair.
‘Then let’s get our own place,’ he suggested.
‘How? Do you have money?’
‘I can get a better job.’
‘You don’t need to do that for me.’
‘But I want to,’ he whispered in her ear.
They just stayed like that. Kat had her head in his lap, and he still was gently running his fingers through her hair.
‘I love you,’ he told her. She knelt up and gently pushed him back onto the bed.
He lay there on the bed, enjoying the warmth of Kat’s body. He listened to her soft breathing, not wanting to wake her. Kat’s hair gently brushed his face, as she woke and turned to face him. He thought this sight was better than anything he drew in his book. He just wished it never had to end.
Kat looked at her bedside clock. 6:40. They have to go to school soon. Her last day of school. Tomorrow she would have to catch a plane and meet up with her dad.
Kat looked at him holding her, and she felt a tear roll out of her eye. He gently put his finger on her cheek, and wiped the tear away. ‘I love you too,’ she whispered, then kissed him.
When she got up, he felt cold and bare. He felt as if he had lost part of himself. He watched her, as she went to the bathroom to get ready for school. The only thing he thought of, was how long it would be until she left him alone forever. He shivered at the thought, and got ready himself.
He went to the front bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t seen his sagging face in a long time. The rings under his eyes were just darkening as each sleepless night passed. But he knew that would end soon. He splashed cold water on his face, and dried it on his jumper.
When Kat came out of the bathroom, she found him sitting on the floor, next to her made bed, and drawing in his book again. ‘What’s that smell?’ Kat asked.
‘Breakfast. It’s on the table for you.’ She went and found a plate of eggs, bacon and toast, with a mug of coffee. She was confused at how he could do all this so fast. But it was one of those things she never asked.
‘What about you?’ She asked.
‘I’ve had what I want.’ She didn’t know what that meant, because she found no trace of him having anything. But she let him be.
He and Kat headed off to their own classes. It was one of their few which they didn’t have together. During that time, he only took his head out of his book to sharpen his pencil.
His teacher gave him a weird look, but she let his do his thing. She knew that he would still do whatever he was doing, even if it meant doing it in detention. But no matter what, she found he always took in what she was saying. Even if he seemed like he was on the other side of the world. She didn’t know what to think of him.
When the bell rang, he heard the teacher say, ‘Test on Monday. Study hard, not hardly.’ He packed up his books and headed to his next class. He got his usual curious stares that were more directed to the book he held, than at he himself. Only one other person had seen inside the book, and she was the one he met with now.
He sat at his table next to Kat, and felt dazed looking at her. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t care. She said hi to a couple of people, but they left him alone. It was the way he liked it.
Kat looked at him, and saw him staring at her. She lent over and whispered in his ear, ‘I really don’t want to spend my last day like this.’ She said to the teacher, Sir, I think I’m going to throw up.’ He looked at Kat, pointed to him and said, ‘Okay, go with her.’
They headed down to the trees at the edge of the sports ovals. He lent against one, and she kissed him. She looked at him and saw his saddened face. Normally, she would let him be, but he almost seemed to be sad at her. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I still wish you didn’t have to go.’
‘I know.’ She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. She lent in and kissed him again. His face softened, and he kissed her back.
He sank to the ground, and just looked at her. ‘You make me feel really examined when you do that,’ she said.
‘So don’t you want me to look at you then?’ She laughed at that. She sat down, and laid her hear on his lap again. He stroked her hair, and she almost started to glow.
‘You’re coming back to my house, right? I need some help to pack my stuff.’
‘Sure,’ he said with a laugh. They just sat like that and watched the wind ripple the leaves of the trees.
‘You kept it,’ he said while holding up a necklace. It was a silver chain with a simple golden heart. He got it as a birthday gift for Kat for her 16th birthday.
‘How could I not? I wore it at the school social every year since.’
He never went to the socials. It was always girl’s choice, and he was never asked. Girls always had their eyes on the Jocks or the cool guys. They never looked at the loner hidden in his own shadow. But he liked it that way.
Kat pulled a book out from her bookshelf. It was an old school year book. She opened it up to the page with the social pictures from that year. She turned it and showed it to him.
He looked and saw a picture of Kat and her friends all dressed up. Hanging around Kat’s neck was the silver chain he gave her. He stared at the picture for a while, ravelled at how beautiful she was. He closed the book and gave it back.
‘What are you going to do after go?’ he asked Kat.
‘I’ll go to uni and study. I’ll come back here when I can earn enough money to support myself. Then I might go travel the world.’
He stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a little box. ‘It’s a going away present.’ Kat took it and opened it. Inside was a white-gold bracelet. On it was a globe that spun. ‘I thought when you travel, you could get something from each place you visited. But if you don’t want it, it’s fine.’
Kat was a little speechless. It must have cost his almost 4 months wage at a job he didn’t have. ‘Wow. This is, it really a lot. How did you even pay for it?’
‘I was saving up for something special.’ She put it on. It was lighter than it looked, and swayed when she moved her hand. It felt kind of nice to have on.
He and Kat heard the toot of the horn from the taxi waiting to take her to the airport. Kat didn’t want to go, and he didn’t her to leave the warmth of the bed. But she had to. They both knew it.
Kat went to the bathroom, and he grabbed her bag. They went out front, and he kissed her goodbye. He wished he never had to let go of her, but she had to go. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, as she drove away in the back of the taxi.
He walked home, and down his drive way for what he knew was the last time. He went to his room, in the empty house, and made a call.
‘She’s on her way and she has the chain.’
‘I shall deliver the message. You can make your way out now.’
‘Thank you.’ Then the line went dead.
He hung up, then made another call.
‘000 emergency. Ambulance, police or fire-fighter?’
‘Neither. I just don’t want my mum to find me.’
‘What’s the problem?’ the woman on the phone said in a concerned voice.
‘I’m committing suicide.’ Then he hung up, ignoring the exasperated voice on the other end.
He lay down on his bed, with a tear rolling down his soft face. He pulled a knife out from under the bed, studied it intrigued. He never realised before, that a piece of cheap, fading metal, could have so much power. It can take away the life of many, or save the fate of others. For him, it would save him from the torment of the world.
He gently pressed it blade to his throat, and slid it across his neck. The blood poured from him like a river which broke from its bed. The blood seeped into the sheets, and pooled on the floor. The last thing he heard, was the sound of an ambulance racing towards his house.
Kat enjoyed flying business class. She always got to travel in it when her father had work. It was his attempt at trying to make up for what she was leaving behind. Well, what she had left behind was three hours gone, and wishing she was still there. Maybe he was still at her house.
‘Excuse me miss,’ said a stewardess.
‘Yes?’ Kat replied.
‘Are you Katherine Greyson?’
‘Yes.’
‘This was asked to be delivered to you,’ she said holding out an envelope.
‘Who is it from?’ she asked puzzled.
‘They said you will know when you read it.’ With that, the stewardess left.
Curious, Kat opened it to see what it was. She pulled out a piece of black paper. Written in a handwriting she would never forget, was a poem in white pencil.
I longed for years to feel your touch,
And when I did I was filled with joy.
You’d never know how I truly felt,
But I can try to let you see.
This is how I truly see,
What you are when I look at you.
I hope that it is enough,
For I’ll never see this sight again.
Kat turned the paper over, and on it, was the picture of her sketched in the same white pencil. But instead of her in the chair, she was sitting in a beautiful throne, encrusted with jewels. And upon her head was a perfect tiara, embedded with a shining diamond.
Kat was stunned at this picture, and wondered how long it took him to draw. But she was confused by what he had written.
In search of answers, she peered into the envelope, and retrieved a piece of white paper. Tears welled in her eyes as she read the words that would haunt her dreams for years.
Kat,
I hope you know, I will always love you, no matter what. And I hope you feel the same for me. But I could not live apart from you. You are my world, and I gave you mine. I hope you will forgive me for what I have done, but I wanted to be with you always. So I try to do this in spirit.
This way, no matter where you are, I will be with you. I shall kiss you every night, and watch over you every day. I hope though, that you will still be able to live your life. Even though that mine has ended.
I hope you will not hate what I have done, but I hope you know that I died in peace. I also hope that I may peacefully wait for you. Once you are ready, I will be waiting for you. My time had ended, and I could not live with myself knowing that. But you have long yet to live. Live it well.
I love you now, and forever.
~Matt
