I Love You!!!

When I first met you I didn't think much about me and you,

But since then our friendship grew.

We talked from the morning light,

Until you were wishing me good night.



I loved your shining blue eyes,

and the way you never left my side.

I looked forward to seeing your smile,

and grew sad when it would be a while.



I loved the way your hand fit in mine,

and how your words were always kind.

You said you loved me all the time,

and I love the way it made me shine



All these things I felt about you,

They still stand true.

I'm gonna tell you what you already knew,

I'm insanely in love with you! <3

Okay, so...
'
This was an okay poem. I found it a little bit mind-numbing, but I guess that's just me.

One thing I did like though, was that it had a very good flow and rythm, which remained consistent throughout the poem.

Something I disliked was the ending. The exclimation marks on the last word were unnecessary.

Overall though, nice work.

- RedRaven

Hello there, Angel!

Here to review.

But since then our friendship grew.

I don't think you need a period after the whole line, it's not even forming a sentence, just a fragment.

So, I think you have done well with the rhyming and I find this piece emotional, a part expressive too. But there are just some instances when you capitalize every first letter of a line, which is not a good thing, methinks. Anyway, the sentiments are flowing well but maybe try to connect your 'character' to the readers. What is special with that particular person? It's because as far as I could read, this is tad cliche' poem. Yes, there are words that expresses love here but I suggest this to be more compelling and unique. Perhaps add some imageries, metaphors and everything that could make this more interesting. So, just think outside the box. All in all, this has potential. Hope I helped and PM em for questions.

Keep writing!

Peace out!

~yuri

Hey Angel,

Please be careful when you decide to rhyme: if you're just doing it with no fixed pattern, it breaks the flow of the poem more than it helps it. Also keep in mind that if you're going to use rhymes, you have to rhyme all of the poem, lest it looks incomplete and clumsy. If you can't make it work--free verse is fine too, and oftentimes flows more smoothly than rhyming lines.

On a different note now, I have to say this poem didn't strike me in any way: it's not bad, per se, but it doesn't have any memorable line or good parts. It's very flat, if you will, and there are no feelings that transpire out of it: it reads cliché, the descriptions have been done a thousand times and bring nothing to the story/theme, and it reads almost childish in tone. Too simple, too one-dimensional. I'd suggest trying to bring out some more feelings, or just something that would pull the reader into the poem instead of leaving us out of it and waiting for something to pop out.

Hope this helps.

Jag

Hello!This poem was so cute! I loved it. It has great flow and rhythm. I do not think that exclaimation point at the was unneccesary though. You might want to add some more imagery and detail to it though, just so the reader stays connected. The idea of this poem is so sweet and can hit home with a lot of people. All in all, this was a well- written poem. You could even add more if you wanted to.
Nicely done.
~Ballerina

Thank yall so much! this really helped and i will try and apply it to my future poems. Poetry isn't really my thing, but i write it from time to time. thanks again!

This was a cute poem. the only problem I had with it was the ending. I felt like you were preparing the reader for heartbreak or something very powerful and then ending it with what you did kind of threw me off for a minute. I think the exclamation point had something to do with it. For some reason I feel that they take away from the raw emotion and turn it into a superficial thing. I'm not not sure why, though. But, you definitely do have talent. Keep at it, I can't wait to read more from you

XOChange