Sorry

I don't do poetry very often and when I do it never goes well. My teacher wants me to write one and I have no idea what to do. I tried and this is what I got. Comments would be very much appreciated. Thanks



Say goodbye and make amends
Life isn’t eternal sometimes it ends
Then the fight won’t matter, they’ll be gone
Life isn’t fair, sometimes it’s wrong

Say goodbye, say sorry before they go
If you don’t now they’ll never know
All you’ll have is your regrets and pain
You’ll never be able to see them again

Sometimes cruel death grabs them way
So say those words that you know you want to say
Say sorry and forget about your pride
I never said sorry and believe me I cried

I didn’t say sorry don’t end up like me
I hold regrets in my heart that’ll never be free
She died alone and without my goodbye
I told her I hated her, she died with that lie

She faded away, and now she’s dead
Say sorry , say the word I never said

Hello!

I haven't reviewed in a while and when I read your desire for reveiws, I just had to answer the call. Forgive my rustiness...Red are corrections you need to make. Bold are my comments. Green are just anything else that I find interesting or grabbed my attention. On with the review!

Say goodbye and make amends
Life isn’t eternal sometimes it ends Life always ends. It's kind of a fact of life that we all die.
Then the fight won’t matter, they’ll be gone
Life isn’t fair, sometimes it’s wrong

Say goodbye, say sorry before they go I just found this repetition to be a bit distracting.
If you don’t now they’ll never know
All you’ll have is your regrets and pain
You’ll never be able to see them again

Sometimes cruel death grabs them way Should be 'away'.
So say those words that you know you want to say
Say sorry and forget about your pride
I never said sorry and believe me, I cried Add that comma in red.

I didn’t say sorry don’t end up like me
I hold regrets in my heart that’ll never be free
She died alone and without my goodbye
I told her I hated her, she died with that lie Use a hyphen instead to give it a bit more oomph!

She faded away, and now she’s dead
Say sorry , say the word I never said I would have used a hyphen. (Two dashes)

Style: It was a bit rough in some places where the lines just didn't flow as well as they could. For example:

If you don’t now they’ll never know
All you’ll have is your regrets and pain
You’ll never be able to see them again

In these three lines, I was a tad confused at first to the pace and I had to read it a few more times to make it sound right in my head. Eventually, it all worked out, but I think you might want to consider to revising it in part. The first line, "If you don't now they'll never know" was where I first went wrong, and I think it's just because the phrasing is odd. Maybe if you add a comma after the 'now' it might make things more cohesive. But I can't tell with my previous bias from having read it without a comma.
I've noticed that you tend to use the apostrophe a lot to create contractions. While I personally love contractions and use them copiously in my own work, I just felt like you were taking it to an extreme. I went in and highlighted all of those sections in green so you can see for yourself. You probably didn't even know you were doing it. The problem is easy enough to fix, you just need to go back and use your old noodle to rephrase things in a way that seems more...literary. That's a good word. Right now it is very juvenile.

Theme: I could understand where you were coming from themewise. You talked about how it felt to say something in a moment of spite and live to regret it while the person you hurt is gone forever. I admit however that it seemed like you didn't go into enough detail. Sure, we as readers get that you wanted to apologize but were prevented the chance. We can read, but we need you as the author to show us how it felt. We want to read more than just your words of wishing that you could say you were sorry.

In all, I thought it was a nice poem, and I fully get how you feel about writing poetry. Mine usually end up being an entire Miltonesque saga. And NO ONE wants to read those these days. I want to encourage you to go back and revise, because you aren't a bad writer. Not by any means. Hope this helps though instead of confusing you even further.

Happy Writing!
Bailey

Hey! You aren't that bad a poet, I actually quite enjoyed it The meaning is really good, admitting we are wrong and say "I'm sorry" is something we, humans, boys and girls, man and woman, have great difficulty doing. I think we should definitely say it more often The grammar was okay, nothing that was wrong, really.

Say goodbye, say sorry before they go
If you don’t now, they’ll never know
All you’ll have is your regrets and pain
You’ll never be able to see them again

I would suggest putting a coma here (placed in green), just to mark a pause because when I read it, I went to fast and read it like "know" so this makes us slow down a bit.

Now, I really, really like the last three stanzas, they are absolutely perfect! I've got nothing else to say
Keep writing! And good luck with that assignment of yours!

-Truth-

I thought it was a pretty good poem. I understand it and believe me, I have already ended up living like that.