This Poem of Cliches

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This is just something I wrote in like...20 minutes. It's an attempt at getting rid of all of the cliches I seem to want to use so badly when I write my poetry. >.> I'm hoping that once I get it out of my system, I'll be able to write something decent again. xD
(Don't tell the cliches I'm just using their pain to my own advantage though! :?


My ninja-mad poetry skills were fleeting,
and it took forever to find out why.
But the real reason behind my poetry-block
is enough to make even The Joker cry.
I thought the clichés were attacking me,
but the sad, sad truth is what I've been forced see,
They've always been such hated things,
All they wanted was to feel that fame,
the fame that being fresh and fancy brings.

So my poets, though I love you all,
I just can't hesitate to say,
your fancy imagery isn't wanted here,
There's just no room for it in this poem of clichés.

There's excitement hanging in the air,
And the clichés are anxious as can be.
They stand like deer caught in the headlights,
of some intimidatingly large S.U.V.
No longer are they bound the chains,
They're driving through life in their own lanes.
And even when we're torn far apart,
Or they've perished by the harshness that is crit,
They'll still be alive and living in a place I call my heart.

So my poets, though I love you all,
I just can't hesitate to say,
your fancy imagery isn't wanted here,
there's just no room for it in this poem of clichés.

They were once intimidated by this monster called hate,
They stood still as stone, petrified by a common fear,
That another monster known as the “Picky Reviewer”,
Would make their over-usage much too clear.
Trapped inside a dangerous snare,
They cried out and hoped some one would hear.
And so now I'm stuck here writing this,
And please don't tell them what I'm about to say,
Fancy imagery and fresh phrases are something I desperately miss.

So my poets, though I love you all,
(And I'm really sad to tell it)
I just can't hesitate to say,
(but these clichés are stubborn little twits!)
your fancy imagery isn't wanted here,
There's just no room for it in this poem of clichés.
Last edited by eldEr on Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl.

got trans?




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Hey,

Haha! That was funny :)

At times the flow was a little rough (They've always been such hated things,All they wanted was to feel the fame,that being fresh and fancy brings.) but the rhymes were simple and sweet and fit really well (except for right here: Your fancy imagery isn't wanted here,There's just no room for it in this poem of clichés.(Help me!). Just didn't seem right) . I'm actually really bad at reviewing poetry so I'm going to try to find something more to say, xD

...

Yeah, I got nothing. I think that's a really good thing though! No more bad things! YAY! Great job on this.

*likes*

~Jas
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




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I couldn't find much wrong with it. It's a really good poem. The only thing that bugged me was this:

And please don't tell them I'm what I'm about to say

I'm not a poet or anything, but I think it would flow better if you wrote this:

And please don't tell them what I'm about to say

Otherwise, wonderful piece of poetry!
"I take a long time in the bathroom. It's what girls do. Excuse me for my gender." - Me to my brother




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Oops! That was actually a typo. xD
It's supposed to be the second one.
Thanks guys! I'll get to editing that soon!
Erm...girls.

Edit
Spoiler
Okay, so I fixed like...three lines xD
Does it sound any better?
(Oh, and I got rid of the (Help me!) at the end.)
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl.

got trans?




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And so now I'm stuck here writing this,
And please don't tell them what I'm about to say,
Fancy imagery and fresh phrases are something I desperately miss kiss.


XD

I don't have much to say about the rest of the poem though, except that I liked it. I also found another typo: No longer are they bound the chains,
-ж-Ж-ж-




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That was so cute! I think the cliche topic worked perfectly! I wish I could do something creative like that. I've been trying to work on poetry more lately.
This is a really good piece of poetry. I like how it was cliche, yet really developed at the same time.
I liked your vocabulary also.
And the deer in the headlights, I thought was great imagery. I think it was my favorite part, I'm not sure why.
This could even by made into a song!
All in all, this was a really good poem. Good job!




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Hahahaha.... How I love cliches! Not using them, except in this way - where you're more or less making fun of them...but aren't they just a riot sometimes? Anyways, good job; I agree that in some spots it was a little rough (nothing specific comes to mind at the moment, but some spots had trouble with flow), but all in all it was a fun poem to read.




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Okay I really liked this poem but is there really a definition for cliche, can it be certain topics or what? If you feel up to explaining you can message me or something. Thanks! Great job on the poem... (even though cliches are kinda foggy to me :))
"Characters cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller



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