Spoiler
This story involves a gay-romance, so all of you who are partial to thing like that... Don't read.
Dear Friend,
I won’t say you broke my heart that day. I never really thought you had your claws that deeply into me. I thought we were just friends. For years I thought we were just friends. Best friends. Good friends. Well acquainted friends, whatever. We were friends; I could’ve sworn that’s all we were. Or maybe that’s just what I told myself.
You wormed your way so far into my heart, that when you were gone the tunnel you dug collapsed upon itself and I was left in rubble. I won’t say you broke my heart, that’s a lie. I broke my own heart, because I fell in love with you even though I didn’t want to.
My life came to a crashing halt when you said you didn’t want to be friends anymore. Because it wasn’t the “friends” part I was reading into, it was the undertone, the thing which was voiceless that I heard, “I don’t want you.” I repeat again, so you don’t feel bad, but you didn’t break my heart. I did.
No one ever told me I was falling in love. No one knew. I didn’t even really know. Because it was a slow, gradual process. Because I fell in love with you, not someone else. Because I had continually told myself that you were my friend and that was all I wanted to believe.
Your laugh became my favourite sound, your voice the call of a brook in the desert and your face the first thing I thought of in the morning. I told myself this was friendship, because I was never actually attracted to you. I didn’t want to kiss you, or hug you, so I told myself we were just really good friends.
When I met you, you surprised me. You were so… nice, to someone like me. Yes. You knew. Everyone knew so you did as well. People called me a fag, but you were still my friend. I thought. I thought we were just friends. You weren’t my type, I told you jokingly, with a flick of the hand and a chuckle.
When we started hanging out, I tried to retain that view of you. You were just a friend. Nothing else. In fact, I promised you I’d never do anything that would make our friendship awkward. What a stupid promise. What a stupid me. I can’t believe I broke my own heart that way.
You even told me you’d never “swing that way”. And I had laughed. Stupid. Stupid me.
I don’t know when I started loving you. It might’ve been that time we caught a romance movie by accident, because it had a very similar title to a horror one and we both cried at the end. It might’ve been the time I fell over air and twisted my ankle on a mountain and you half dragged me up to the top and then all the way back. It might’ve been that moment that I caught your eyes in class and you knew exactly what I meant and passed me your pen, because I had forgotten mine.
I don’t know when I really fell in love with you, but somehow… I did.
We drifted apart after that day you told me that and we stopped talking altogether, but sometimes I see you passing me on a street and my eyes become glued to you and your smile and I ache to hear my favourite sound. We’re not friends anymore. I thought we were friends once.
But I wanted something more and I never said anything because of my promise to you. I never wanted things between us to be awkward. I’d never break my promise to you, not ever, my word to you is more precious than… anything. Now there's nothing between us at all, except that promise. So I’m keeping it with me forever.
I won’t say you broke my heart that day, because I never told you that you had it.
I can’t believe I broke my own heart that way - How cliche. I loved you so much that I let you go.
What a stupid me.
Love From... No-one.
Spoiler
I read jasminebells one, called Dear You, and I... feel like a thief. Argh, but the story is different. 
I hope. Oh, well. This is meant to make you a little bit sad. 
I hope. Oh, well. This is meant to make you a little bit sad. 
I feel a little bit sad when I read it, but its a good kind of sad I think. 
